Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
cufaoil 11
you should levitate above the bed to ensure that the only thing you touch is the air...
laur_laur 0
wrong person?
shortysf21 2
This means he has something to hide from you
daltyboy 0
maybe engagement ring ever thought of tht????
capnbzarr 43
Then don't touch HIM and don't let him touch you, either. That'll learn 'im.
spaboolly 26
I don't think he's necessarily hiding anything. I know I hate having people anywhere near my room, not because I have something to hide but because I like my privacy. I don't really think this is an FML.
mpclaw 3
no brainer here. he doesn't want her to find his **** stash.
StaRRrRr 0
seems like he has something to hide..
daltyboy 0
wats the problem?? he wants his room to look nice and tighty before having sex
guckylynn 19
Tidy... and you're like 14, you shouldn't be even talking about sex!
daltyboy 0
soo does it really matter not like im going to be doing it soon
Piinkdottx3 5
which makes you want to snoop around some more!
Sweet_Testicles 7
Get the formalities out of the way !