Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
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Top comments
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
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Comments (149)
monkekka 0
first!
xBangOut 4
he's afraid u will find his pr0n collection!
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
jazidee 0
yeah i dnt get the problem either....
dolphincheddar 10
I wouldn't want my room smelling like fish either. and op, most people don't find granny panties sexy
enonymous 9
9- Cheddar if you don't need them anymore you can mail those to me
Ch0sen 13
At least he said "please".
dolphincheddar 10
alright. I have 7 pairs. but I hope u don't mins that they come with my deceased grandmother, I'm too lazy to remove them
dolphincheddar 10
mind
gunmania0 12
OP needs to get back in her cage.
flockz 20
op, if u have no other option, i will always be here for u for a low hourly rate.
Soloman212 28
19, is she wearing all 7 of them at once?! If so, then I'll just take the top 6 and return the bottom one with the carcass.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
19, I'll come over and take your grandma out of those panties. Everyone wins, and I get someone to listen to me play the kazoo.
TheChampagneBoi 5
maybe he just cleaned his room?
Soloman212 28
Ok 45, you can take the body and it's final layer, and I'll lend an ear to your kazooing.
ThanksKarma 0
Wow, I guess there is always time to talk about someone's dead grandma and then refer to the body as a carcass. Awesome.
dolphincheddar 10
there sure is :)
ally_85 1
these young boys do not know how to please a woman....
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Ok 61, it sounds like a deal. I will play you the greatest death metal kazoo symphony you ever heard.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
75, after working 9 hours for minimum wage; at a job where no one respects you my lebito is low. When I get home I just want a sandwich.... just a sandwich. I mean I give my significant other credit for going out of his way to dress up in a latex suit and gag, and want me to whip him and play, but,... I just want a sandwich.
SeedlessMe 13
Dude. A death metal kazoo symphony? Holy shit, I would Love to hear that! I'll give you 100bux to see that, & you could go get yourself like 20 sandwiches.
OceanProtection 0
Dollar Menu = 87 sandwiches... And 87 > 20
Friaza 29
Well the guy needs his privacy and the OP is just acting indecent. Do you expect males to love every inpure thing woman do? Some of us have standards you know.
Mr_Saikaly 35
I'm sure OP used to mess with his stuff in his room, or else he wont tell her that
klasklattermus 3
Dont get it :s
gunmania0 12
The point is her boyfriend doesn't care when she wants it given to her, hard.
PrickHead 0
noo ...what he doesnt get is the fact that he is a complete dumbass.
LOLbomb 1
Are you kidding? Obviously, the guy is a secret agent and doesn't want her to discover the entrance to his secret lab. Anyone with half a mind could figure that out. >.>
ugottaluvme 0
that's a lol bomb right der
Notimetobleed 14
you sir, are correct
SirObvious 1
looks like the **** wasnt hidden to well. this time...
sly161 0
IKR! people are so dumb these days
supimnyancat 9
he doesnt want you to get cooties on his stuff.
fmart 0
after 8th grade cooties evolve into herpes
dolphingirl888 5
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahahha
biasedshooter 24
I guess you shouldnt touch his "thing" then!
daltyboy 0
7 i have tht exact mask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ruff_fml 3
well done, now go play with your secret anomaliss club buddies.
biasedshooter 24
get a life ruff
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
jayalexander 7
well where else was his grandma supposed to put them?!?
dstivers 0
When I hide panties, it's definitely not under my pillow. That's what I sleep on and there's no telling what those panties could transfer to my pillow.
monkeystain 0
are they yours???????????????
miraggg 1
either way, don't touch them!
SpicyDuck 22
Yeah they're mine
dstivers 0
Well if that's what really happened then he is diseased for sure. Jk
SpicyDuck 22
Only if I got them from you
dstivers 0
I'm clean. I make sure I wrap it. But there was that one time with your mom...so maybe. Who knows
frankgrimes 4
he wants you to save all the touching for him ;)
whatever222 3
#10- well that's looking on the bright side of this situation...if there even is a bright side..
jequs 0
then don't touch, laughs
im_awsome 2
it's not like you should be to touching anything
sappy0 5
sounds like he's got something in there he doesn't want you to know about
tyty22796 0
yup thts true!! u should be worried
wolflover44 5
I was thinking a ring he doesn't want OP to know about quite yet. Nobody knows...
Legolandlord 4
i was thinkin he keeps **** on his ipod or laptop ot somethin......
dreawlkr523 0
but then why not watch it together?
Legolandlord 4
Excellent point
juturnaamo 29
I was thinking he got her a present
hombrepollo 0
is he MC Hammer, cuz as u know... u can't touch this
xXRiah_GirlXx 9
win
transilvanianson 3
that was so lame! I don't know if I should thumbs up or thumbs down >.