Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
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Top comments
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
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Comments (149)
davy187 0
your bf is a boss
hamada8311 0
maybe if girlfriends would be trustworthy and not snoop. we wouldn't have to be like that
X_Codes 11
Maybe if jackasses like you didn't mistreat women then they'd trust guys like me.
neongurl98 10
You shouldnt have sex with him for a week and see what he'll say then!
hellonyancat 6
Well I wouldn't want someone letting themselves into my room and going through my stuff either. He could have said it in a nicer way though. Especially since you were trying to do something nice.
santel_fml 8
he's got something to hide definitely!! otherwise his response would be something like he can't wait etc etc
BabbiiLovvee 0
How did u get in his room? -__- obviously you're not in there often if he asked u not to touch n e thing lol
Danny_v2 1
look at his Internet history
SuperNinjaa 0
He shouldve replied with CAN'T TOUCH THIS and you saying OH OH OH STOP! HAMMER TIME And then you two can have sexy time
aPieceOfFruit 16
He probably had the same experience most men have, at some point a woman tries to clean his room, and by clean they "rearrange" furniture that you have had in the same place for years. Sorry ladies thats a dumpable offence. We put seat up, you leave our mancave alone.
ckjacques53198 0
He doesn't want you to find his jerk sock