Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
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Top comments
dwhite312 0
he has manners. what's the problem here?
SpicyDuck 22
you're gonna find panties under his pillow.
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Comments (149)
aceingit 0
did you touch anything?
daydreamer244 13
well come on if ur bf was in ur room when u weren't there would you really want him screwing around in your stuff??
s24sammy 8
****
Imgonnahaveabf 9
I have to say, your comments fit very well with your picture, but we all want to know what you look like. If this comment gets over 40 thumps up, will you put a pic up? Don't make me and the other fellow citizens of FML have a bf now...
Imgonnahaveabf 9
And I was talking to the funniest member of this site here, #17, & you know who that is.;)
Yellow_Fish79 11
Yeah, guess you won't be touching his ass either!
Enigmax2514 7
he is afraid that u will find his **** stash LEAVE NO STONES UNTURNED! SEARCH, MEN!
flyingshrimp 2
Sounds exactly like my boyfriend. Just put things right back, he'll never know.
GuitarAssKicker 1
Relationship issues much?
OceanProtection 0
You look guitarded bro
bugsfunny 0
that's what you get for being a hoerrofic
ciwanski 0
a what? I see hooked on phonics never worked for you