Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, at my workplace, I caught a kid trying to break into my boss's car, as well as my own. After warning him that I'd call the police if I caught him again, he left. Then, after I got home, I heard weird noises right outside my door. It was him again, trying to break into my house. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
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Top comments
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
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Comments (131)
katejones 8
Answer the door, be polite and tell him you're not interested. 2 minutes tops. If he doesn't go away he loses the right to be treated politely and then you can just slam the door in his face and go about your business in plain sight.
chosha_fml 27
YDI for hiding instead of just telling him to go.
theboy13 13
What a creeper, spending that much time at one house
GEFStryker 29
A bloody apron, a large knife, and a creepy smile usually dissuade people from hanging around for to long at my door.
zomgbies 17
Answer the door wearing a rubber apron and rubber gloves, say he's just in time that you need help getting the bodies into the tub of acid. He'll never come back
LegolasPrincess 10
You could of you know just told him no, if he refuses call the police, if that doesn't work beat the shit out of him.
DevilsMetsGiants 30
Open door, tell to **** off, call cops if he doesn't leave.
skyeyez9 25
Next time, Open a window, scream at him to go the **** away! Its annoying as hell to have someone especially a salesman relentlessly knock on your door. He should have Knocked a few times, if nobody answers, get the hint and move on. Not stand there for who knows how long and repeatedly bang on the door.
petergozinya37 8
Did you think of maybe calling the police?
DanielleinDC 34
For crying out loud, open the door, maybe with a nice large knife in hand, and see what the guy wants. Then you can tell him to go away and leave you alone