Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, at my workplace, I caught a kid trying to break into my boss's car, as well as my own. After warning him that I'd call the police if I caught him again, he left. Then, after I got home, I heard weird noises right outside my door. It was him again, trying to break into my house. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (131)
boredinjp 17
A fun competition: who has more free time? Did you win?
Palirose 22
Exactly. I usually tell these people Im not interested! -_- you would think the "no soliciting" sign under the door bell is hint enough.
thatgirlinoregon 21
I propose a better competition- OP calls authorities for harassment and (maybe?) trespassing; if the salesman can talk his way out of it you buy the product.
SwaggCapone 11
I have an even better idea. Shove a shotgun in his face
ms_YoungMula 8
#81 well that escalated quickly
angeluv_2014 22
I would have answered just for the fact that I did not even realize that door-to-door salesmen still exsisted!!
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
Caitie_kid 8
Or they could just open the door and say "I'm not interested." Then shut it again. There's that crazy idea too.
dudeofawe 15
He should also check to make sure it's not something important, one time this "salesmen" wouldn't go away, and when my mother finally asked him what he wanted, he said he was the U-Verse guy, and there was problems in the area with signal he needed to warn us about.
andrekrivo 20
it seems those people are really enthusiastic about selling stuff
starile 20
Um... #34, that's their pitch. I bet your mom bought something, didn't she?
lolen2910 3
its australia... just tell him to **** off! :)
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
jw90 18
He's selling a new flavor of Cheetos. I think that's at least worth a blow to the balls.
nbandofbrothers 10
Oh I see what you did there.
EffYoLife 14
LMAOOOO
obnum 19
I love references to other FMLs. Makes me chuckle inside. :)
fmlallthetyme 23
Just answer and try to convert him to Mormonism. Gets them to leave every time.
nightbirdblue 27
I've tried converting one to the worship of The Dread Father and The Night Mother.
goldenturtlez 7
Hail Sithis!
BVBarmy_girl 22
You know that you can just politely decline his offers right? I admire your stubbornness though!
starile 20
Exactly. You can be a normal adult about it and have the 2-second conversation it would take. Stop being such a coward. Do you deal with all your problems by running and hiding?
catkat1988 17
Let him keep knocking, just don't answer the door. Eventually he'll get bored, and all he'll have gained is a sore hand.
catkat1988 17
Or tell him to get lost, and if he doesn't, call the cops on him for trespassing on your property.
whydidyousaythat 9
It's totally legal to go door to door and sell or ask for charitable donations, most of the time these people have permits to do so as well. Plus, calling the cops on someone for just knocking on your door is a pretty big overreaction.
Squygm 7
Not if they refuse to leave your property it isn't.
iAlissa 34
On the flip side of that, 49, OP hadn't asked him to leave. All he/she did was hide behind a couch.
catkat1988 17
I'm aware that the OP hadn't asked him to go away. In Denmark, ringing people's doorbells to sell them stuff they haven't signed up for is generally prohibited by law, but I realize it may not be so in other countries - which is why I suggested telling him to go away first. I'm pretty sure staying on someone's property and banging on their door despite being asked to leave is considered trespassing and harassment no matter what.
Octwo 16
Where I live you have to ask them to leave your property. If they don't you could legally arrest them yourself for trespassing as long as you call the police immediately.
iSativa 24
I mean, is calling the police out of the question?
zahra_786 19
This post made me laugh far too much. I hope OP gives a follow up :D
dinagdotphoto 13
I can give you a follow up now: "Then he got tired of wasting his time with me and left." This isn't exactly the most extreme FML we've ever read here, c'mon..
iAlissa 34
43, extreme or not, I would like to know what happened next too.
mFUNdo21 17
I'm pretty sure one of them eventually caved
kinky44 28
@59 Nope, OP is still hiding and the salesman is still knocking.
knick64 7
Journal Entry 09/04/13 "It's been three weeks now and I think they are multiplying. The first one set up camp shortly after I posted my FML and a few minutes after that I heard knocking on the backdoor, then one on the window, and I'm pretty sure I hear a few on the roof. I've started to ration my food now and my couch fort is two couches wide and three couches high. What am I going to do!? Journal Entry 2014???? My food supplies have been gone for a week or so now and the real hunger is eating me alive. I might be hallucinating, but I've been here do long I can no longer tell what is real and what isn't. Who's to say magazine subscriptions didn't always have teeth? Or dust bunnies have discussions on particle physics? I know I'm going to die, but to whoever is reading this: let it be known I never bought anything from those annoying maniacs!
zahra_786 19
Hahaha, exactly. .knowing how long it went on for and who won is something I'd want to know! :p
LtBoom 13
Don't let him in or he might try to sneak in YOUR back door. That's creepy as hell.
Beccarella 4
In more ways than one...
Myo_fml 20
Yes, that was indeed the joke.