Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, at my workplace, I caught a kid trying to break into my boss's car, as well as my own. After warning him that I'd call the police if I caught him again, he left. Then, after I got home, I heard weird noises right outside my door. It was him again, trying to break into my house. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
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Top comments
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
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Comments (131)
pdp_fml 21
I didn't know that there are still "door to door" salesmen! I think that here in the US, that they are almost extinct.
FireBitten 14
Sadly they are not extinct in the US. They come to my house once every couple months. So far I've had people try to sell me a "miracle cleaning solution" for....get this.... $100 a gallon, children's books, meat, and satellite tv. And boy oh boy do they know how to be persistent, even if you say "I'm not interested." My advice, never let them have that "just a minute of your time" that they ask for.
catanita 18
Call the cops and tell them that you have a stalker or something like that......
Mightytall 35
I usually open the door to people like this with my large butcher knife and honing steel, sharpening the knife. Or opening the door completely naked works very well too.
rairai 14
Just wave to him and sit down and watch tv, he should've taken the hint
Beepbeep7 14
Hide in your own house? why not put a sign on your door that says you're deaf.Your house may get robbed but you'll get rid of those pesky salesmen for sure.
mikepzz 27
Answer the door and tell him to **** off.. Now that wasn't so hard was it?
katydid91 31
After 5 minutes I would've called the cops. Actually I'm not sure I'd wait 5 minutes!
JesseAttack 21
Well, next time just tell him you're not interested with a desth stare.
Rodville 28
My first thought when I read this was process server. OP might have outstanding debts he is hiding from.
Enslaved 38
"Who can it be knocking at my door? Go away, don't come 'round here no more Can't you see that it's late at night? I'm very tired and I'm not feeling right All I wish is to be alone Stay away, don't you invade my home Best off if you hang outside Don't come in, I'll only run and hide Who can it be now?":P