Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, at my workplace, I caught a kid trying to break into my boss's car, as well as my own. After warning him that I'd call the police if I caught him again, he left. Then, after I got home, I heard weird noises right outside my door. It was him again, trying to break into my house. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
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Top comments
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
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Comments (131)
Mackay92 14
get up and tell him to **** off
DWynter 11
Sorry, YDI. Just open the door, say, "No thank you," or, "Thank you but I'm not interested," and close the door.
dinagdotphoto 13
Man up and tell him to **** off, instead of hiding behind the couch! Its just a salesman, not an official. YDI, OP!
MrPortalFan 21
Opening your house door is a choice, not an obligation. If he doesn't go away, you have every right to call the cops.
Zinging 8
Call the police!! What are you a baby? Man up!!
jwebster 8
Call the ******* cops!
lyvingvamp 15
Honestly, just call the cops if you really want him to go away.
ashleyhalla 21
Start doing the most randomly weird things you can think of. Maybe he'll feel awkward and leave.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lmfao. Thanks for the laugh OP. I'm as sick as a dog at home with the flu.
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
If you don't like dealing with door salespeople, get a dirty looking cardboard box marked "meth" or other illicit substance, thrust it into their hands and say, "well shit, where have you been?" If they don't wise up to you on account of poor acting, they'll leave you alone pretty quickly.