Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, at my workplace, I caught a kid trying to break into my boss's car, as well as my own. After warning him that I'd call the police if I caught him again, he left. Then, after I got home, I heard weird noises right outside my door. It was him again, trying to break into my house. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
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Top comments
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
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Comments (131)
crazyclown00 17
This sounds like more fun than messing with telemarketers.
Dgooder 6
Christ, just tell him to **** off!!!
KingreX32 21
by a guard dog.
its_love2 31
tell him you are not interested and to go away, if he does not leave, call the cops and say he is trespassing ... simple and you are not putting your life on hold for some aggressive jerk!!!
joshuarowe88 5
Just tell him to **** off and close the door
jixiekat 14
call the cops
hurley12 30
My god just answer the door and say you don't want what he's selling. It's not rocket science.
lyssgross 16
Let him play hide and seek with the cops.
Sputnikspak 13
This is where you write a sign that says '**** off, wanker' and stick it to the door.
JoseIsAdork 31
hopefully you won't have the same issue I had, a year or more ago a church group had showed up to my door which doesn't bother me, if answer the door in the first place, I'll just usually smile and listen to what they say. however one time I did happen to be home but decided I didn't really want to answer the door, the lights were off in my living room and the blinds were partly closed so they weren't able to see in but I could see out, I heard them try the door nob to see if it would open!! thank god I had it locked for what ever reason... that honestly made me paranoid...