Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, I was expecting a package from Amazon, so when the doorbell rang I rushed out in my pajamas. It wasn't the delivery guy. It was my ex and her new boyfriend, here to drop off some of my old stuff. I'd answered the door wearing an anime onesie. FML
Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
Today, a telemarketer called and asked if they could speak to my "Mommy or Daddy." I'm 25 years old. FML
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Top comments
Devolution 8
How short are you..?
klutzyduck1 24
I don't see how this is a problem...seems like a great way to avoid a sales pitch. Could be because it's happened to me before, and I've just gone with it. Blessings in disguise.
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Comments (34)
Devolution 8
How short are you..?
Aylla89 3
It may not be her height, but as implied, just her print pajamas that most would see as for kids or teens at the latest age. I realize that adults wear them too, but it doesn't necessarily mean a height thing. On the flip side, I am pretty short and even when I dress in formal clothing, makeup, etc I can get called "ma'am" or something for a teenager. It's a bit frustrating but I can't get too upset. People tend to go by average heights. For reference, I'm closing the gap to 30. but at least I have young features?
tido26 18
I'm 24 and I've been asked if I'm still in high school before (even though I'm 5'10"), so I understand? On one hand it's one of those "you'll be thankful for later" things, but it definitely doesn't help when you're trying to teach grown men and they think you can't even see an R rated movie by yourself
siggy_mcsigx 22
I'm short, 23, and I potentially would have gotten this reaction even if there wasn't so much fluffy pink pajama stuff going on. The baby-faced struggle.
sturschaedel 27
#25 I definitely know the struggle of not being taken seriously because of young looks. But now that I'm in my mid thirties, having a younger than average face is starting to be a nice thing!
Jay18 22
Are you short? I don't think he'd have said that if you were tall
Lalala579121 28
Or maybe he was just being snide based on her choice of attire?
tido26 18
I'm 5'10" and I still get things like that happening all the time
myfuturelover 15
I'm 5'5 and a half 5'6 and people tell me I look twelve. They say the most I could pass for is 14. It's not always about height.
Googolman 29
You should have just said no and then shut the door in his face.
Melanie_marii 20
This is, sadly, going to be me when I'm older. I can already tell.
klutzyduck1 24
I don't see how this is a problem...seems like a great way to avoid a sales pitch. Could be because it's happened to me before, and I've just gone with it. Blessings in disguise.
Tripartita 45
You missed the perfect opportunity to flirt with him and, if he reciprocated, create your very own homemade episode to To Catch A Predator! Next time, OP.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
And I thought this was the set up to a dirty movie instead. We obviously have lived very different lives.
Tripartita 45
I try to leave my work at work and just relax on FML.
species4872 20
He made a Boo Boo, he should have asked for Yogi.
julianna5782 12
terrible
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He probably thought you were, let's say, mentally challenged.
LyricaSilvan 30
What the hell is wrong with you? Since when does wearing teddy bear pajamas make someone mentally challenged? Even if you were kidding, that's just awful.
jocamo 24
Tbh I thought he might erroneously have thought that too
stupidpplsuck 33
I agree with #9 and #38. Yeah it may not be a nice thing to assume, but I could see with what he said and what you were wearing that he may have thought you were mentally challenged enough to still be living with your parents (maybe still mentally a small child?). That doesn't make it right, nor does it mean you can't wear what you want, it is just a possible reason for what he said.
rustybucket 24
But on the real who cares what a door to door salesman thinks? Sounds like you were cozy AF and that's a win in my book
feme_fatale 19
Same.