Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one calling me from down the hall. FML
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML
Today, at my workplace, I caught a kid trying to break into my boss's car, as well as my own. After warning him that I'd call the police if I caught him again, he left. Then, after I got home, I heard weird noises right outside my door. It was him again, trying to break into my house. FML
Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
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Top comments
tswizz 13
Unless he's selling Cheetos, you might as well punch him in the face.
Mahendra1 9
Why do you need to hide? You both know you're in the house, and it's his time he's wasting if he keeps knocking. Just go about doing what you'd normally do and he'll get bored. You do realise it's not some kind of wacky scenario where you opening the door to him is inevitable, right?
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Comments (131)
worldclassrager 41
He should leave eventually...but the sure fire way to make sure they never come back again is to answer the door naked...it's not the best thing to do but they put down your Address and never comeback again...
iixZomBie 4
And thats when the 2nd amendment comes in handy. No one really questions you when you open the door with a sawed off double barrel 12 gauge shotgun in their face.
amy6703 6
A shotgun aimed at him will do the trick
kinky44 28
Why? You gonna kill him and go to prison all for a salesman? Having a shotgun leveled at me wouldn't scare me cause the shooter knows its not worth it.
jtfrisch 22
**** yo couch
lmarie1 9
Just knock back every time he does!
NocturnalCro 14
I want to keep track for a future one where you beat this guys ass. Hopefully you come out ahead on that one.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Call the cops.
martin8337 36
OP, no one should ever duck and hide in their own home, wussy.
the_real_dvd 21
Are people really that passive that they can't just open the door and say no thank you? And everybody else is so aggressive that they recommend opening the door and telling him to F off. It's like there's no middle ground.
awkward_gothlady 32
Wow. I fail to see how this scenario is even remotely productive for him. In the time he spends continually knocking at your door when your actions show you have no intention of opening it, he could have moved on to some other house where someone might have actually bought something.