Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
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Top comments
josef_connolly 14
Maybe you should just date pretzels then.
drayloon 50
Don't get all twisted out of shape over it
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Comments (89)
zRatio 6
Just date a guy with the last name of pretzels.
mattrd_fml 31
salted or unsalted?
space_chace 9
Pretzels are so sexy.
demonfacee 14
Think about your boyfriend eating pretzels.
TexanBatman 8
That's pretty illiterate
Ilikepie82479 20
How does one discover this?
luverofakatsuki 16
guess pretzels are orgasmic for you
Lagalette 19
Maybe it's because it helps you not thinking too much about having that ****** ?
Coolaidegirl 18
You know, if you wanna get really kinky, you should try chocolate covered pretzels
grumblebum 16
Today I was shopping and saw a pretzel shop, thought "ooh pretzels" then remembered this post, I may never be able to eat pretzels again. FML