Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, my husband drunkenly confessed that he has a shit fetish and wants to watch me take a dump in the bathtub while he jerks off. Guess him saying he "didn't like kinky things" was a lie, then. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML
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Top comments
tacovender 7
Nothing like dipping your head in a dirty toilet during sex!
graham11 14
And...that's when you wish life had an undo button.
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Comments (194)
Caitlyn36 8
that sucks, :/
kyarush 10
Lol that's rough
MibInwalo 0
Well this relationship had certainly gone down the drain...
MyPupRox 2
Everybody has their guilty pleasure.
pie29302930 0
Yummy.
HahaHokayThen 10
Diaper fetishes are weirder to me, but I still agree. OP, I would not stick my head down the toilet to turn my boyfriend on. Haha
DynamicDave 11
Oh, you people and your toilet humor.
ProjeKtSC2 8
82, I thumbed up your comment not because of your comment, but because of your profile description. haha :D
urdirtyolduncle 15
Before you tumb me down for asking, I would like to add that I've used google, urban dictionary, and yahoo answers. With that having said, what the **** is a swirly fetish?
n_epic_fail 14
Did anyone else think "Swirly" was some kinds of kinky sex term?....
HahaHokayThen 10
93, look up "swirly" & then look up "fetish" separately. Fetish is a sexual desire, & a swirly is when someone shoves your head down the toilet & flushes it. So basically, OP's boyfriend is turned on by people's heads in toilets.
drewfus2 6
88- I thumbed because of his use of the word "egregious".
thebadmanpuntedb 7
Thats the 'OH' moment in a relationship when you know it's not going any farther.
graham11 14
99- I agree. I was afraid to look it up and find some weird ass definitions..
DynamicDave 11
I like the fact that my bio took over half of this discussion.
Dramori 29
Is that giving or receiving swirlies, and did you 'bow' to his demands?!
noradz 8
Did you do it?
nonelikeworms 0
Kinky
akayc32 0
Do we really want to know?
jwade11 12
What's a swirly fetish?
ZebcoGirl 0
You get your head put in a toilet and the person holds you down while they flush it
sheethapins 13
^ And you like it. A lot.
NuTrees 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lmao I'm so fat! I was thinking like dairy queen... You know what I'm think I'm right though.
AliCat18 12
lol as my friend always says...."fatty want a cookie?"
cosmosis 12
136- your friend is an asshole
ZebcoGirl 0
57- Did I say anything about liking it you dumb bitch? No, I didn't think so. A question was asked so I answered it. There is no need for your dumbass comments.
niplipsip 9
169 - calm your ****. makes me think you might just like it. the ****. I saw 57's comment as an addition to yours. you described "swirly", he described "fetish".. gd, I wonder how you are in person.
ZebcoGirl 0
I dont know first reaction to reading it I guess. I didnt really see the comment that way but oh well.
spazz666 18
175, you don't have many friends do you? Because you come off as very rude and... Well. Douchey.
ZebcoGirl 0
Yeah I guess your right.
tacovender 7
Nothing like dipping your head in a dirty toilet during sex!
getoustahere 7
Ohhh yesss
nava1210 12
Stop it people, your turning me on..
EddiE_CN 8
Um...what's a swirly fetish?? Am I alone here..?
Beebow_fml 5
The comment you replied to explained it... And you're not alone, I've seen plenty of idiots before.
srgsk9 9
Doesn't matter, have sex.
alexiiiis09 0
Whatever it takes, right? Right!
every1luvsboners 11
The man loves his porcelain, what can you say. FLUSH HIM, NAO!!
graham11 14
And...that's when you wish life had an undo button.
ihatemen 0
HAHA omg you're awesome
ikickgingers 15
No
graham11 14
90- **** YES
dookiedoo 0
Time to go bobbing for apples
melantysaurus 3
Time for a makeover, mullet man.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Mullets..Buisness in the front, PARTY IN THE BACK ;D But your mullet seems to be party all around ;3
AlaskaKid95 7
25- I bet he gets all the ladies with it.
every1luvsboners 11
Fairly obvious photoshop. Although the Joe Dirt look is quite popular.
melantysaurus 3
What is the joe dirt popular with? Female wookies?
bsbuddy 0
And fake mustache.
graham11 14
8- news flash!!! Ladies do not like mullets and fake beards. Take the highway to the nearest exit, veer right, and your destination will be on the left: the hair salon.
21jason 9
Curtacy flush.
docscientist 10
Your spelling of courtesy was so awful it truly nearly made me forget how it's spelled.
taternuts 0
Spell check that and I'll thumb you all day
21jason 9
I did spell it right the first time but my stupid iPod keeps changing it!
brrarm 17
If your iPod keeps changing it, means first few times you spelled it that way, so it thinks that's the way you WANT it spelled:)
brrarm 17
Double
niplipsip 9
the comments.. so funny, *tear*
bchelle11 0
Bull. You're iPod only spells words right. 'Curtacy' if you could see this on my phone right now...my APPLE phone then you would see the red lines. You sir, are invalid.
PerditaDessa 38
They spell words wrong, too. The user just has to have made the spelling mistake multiple times for it to correct it incorrectly, and the red line doesn't always show up if the iPod/phone has 'no suggestions.'
cntryiscntrywide 0
and I thought foot fetishes were weird..
monster_tamer 11
Foot fetish? That's nothing compared to some of the really wacky stuff.
mrredkneck 2
I agree they are very weird
jrsylilballer6 7
Kinky much ? o.O
megsawesome 0
Very, but she did say she would try anything.
zombicidal 11
it says about anything that could rule out a lot of things like that thing where you piss on a balloon while being slapped with a riding crop
zack11742 7
Hahahaha what's that called?!?