Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML
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Top comments
josef_connolly 14
Maybe you should just date pretzels then.
drayloon 50
Don't get all twisted out of shape over it
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Comments (89)
Chandraraj12 0
So those pretzels were making you thirsty?
nitrog100 21
You shouldn't worry about it. If it helps you get off, pretzel away. Most guys will tell you, "I can work with that".
marysevere 4
That is weird. Wait, which shape of pretzels, the twisty kind, rods, sticks... actually, they all would be weird.
TheBlindSpartan 4
I read this as I was eating pretzels
DoubleDosexo 12
I've never actually "climaxed". at least, you know what gets you there, quickly and slowly.
siniclehamster 16
@23 Yes.
Canis_Lupus 4
How did you even discover such a thing... Is he that bad?
allplayedout 20
Why wouldn't that make you want to eat them more?
animalxcrackers 20
it's probably not thinking about pretzels that's helping you, it's not thinking about your ****** that's helping you. if you're concentrating on climaxing, you're not focused on the sensations. a watched pot never boils.
crunchycheeto99 11
Mhmm pretzels..