Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
YDI for dating a cop(;
coralita 0
he should of brought you one!
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Comments (161)
coralita 0
he should of brought you one!
Xythenol 6
#1 It's should HAVE. HAAAVE for ****'s sake!
coralita 0
sorry! hehehe! should've!
oliver86 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Was that really needed #11. Calm down.
tamie306 5
#10 actually
lbeer 1
#10 god d@mn grammar nazi
TheCass_ 3
eight million actually.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
It's important to keep sugar levels up during sex, iv heard it makes **** shoot 2 meters
relyo 0
he mad.
Rawwrness 3
.....was it from Dunkin donuts?
daka_fml 5
ahahah what a rock star he is!
Moniii723 0
lol
iloveloosy12 0
lol people are so weird
jon33_fml 0
did he share?
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
oh my coralita's picture is mighty distracting
AKlesbian907 0
moobs... Srsly thought you were female. least they are not saggy I guess...
istylez2 0
i gotta say coralsita u sexy
daddyluiigi 3
Like a boss lol
snuu_man 0
what you two have is really special!
Jackmangold 0
YDI for not having a sandwich prepared for him
alex1432 9
I like sex, I like doughnuts. I fail to see a problem here...
Edokun 0
haha lol apparently a doughnut is enough to make OP's sex better lol I think she should improve so they don't get replaced for a sandwich next time xD
bwhahaha_fml 10
indeed it is special. I mean how many men actually go to the kitchen for food?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
YDI for dating a cop(;
amypr 20
Haha
nlr 9
how so you know he's a cop? do you know them?!
AnagenisisZagus 13
You are missing the joke you son of a bitch!!! Hold me back!! Hold me back!!! We cool? We cool.
AmandaNAckles 0
hahaha @ 76, wow.
Bosia 0
Speaking of cops… I think it's illegal to have your cat's caboose so close to your face!
tesuan 0
Homer Simpson isnt a cop...
dtrump_fml 0
haha
fml2102 0
it's illegal for a man to have that big of an object in his mouth too!!
drthunderbolt 4
No YDI for dating Vash the Stampede!
Trentman30 5
mmm. doughnuts.
anthonyblower 0
Never has there been more win performed my one man.
CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN 4
very true
FYLDeep 26
#5 You let your man act like that though? Some people might see it as disrespectful.
oliver86 8
Was that really needed #11. Calm down.
oliver86 8
^ don't know why this posted here, sorry
TheDrifter 24
I guess sploshing with doughnuts never crossed your mind before that? Sounds like you two are going to have a very messy love life.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Sploshing?!?
Darko21 5
He meant splooshing, jizzing, or the simplest form 'cumming.'
TheDrifter 24
Google is your friend.
TheDrifter 24
Sploshing, slang for sexual or sensual use of food on the human body. Try google or urban dictionary. I had no idea that fmlers were so sheltered.
AbyoErui 0
YDI for letting him finish.
LordLiam316 0
What a profile picture
LordLiam316 0
I do have one question. Is he climbing in your window? I'm curious because I want to know if he's snatching your people up
unclepester 0
hide your kids hide your wife, hide your kids hide your wife!
poppinzilla 0
instead of doing all that I would have just called up pizza hut and ordered bread sticks
saraheve1188 5
at least you weren't in the car having sex while he was doing a donut.
kaoriblossom 8
errr.....that would be just a tad bit freaky.....
FYLDeep 26
Did he glaze those doughnuts himself?
ctran 0
he ate them. and he would be gay if he did but her name was Jessica so I don't think he's gay. I mean, hey maybe he is