Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, at noon, I'm marrying the love of my life. It's 4 a.m. and I can't stop vomiting and shitting. FML
Today, I started my period. I am getting married tomorrow. So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big. FML
Today, I woke up with bronchitis and hemorrhoids. I'm getting married in 3 days. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML
Today, I walked down the aisle when a bug flew into my mouth. In a response, I threw up on my beautiful white wedding dress. I had to party and be in the pictures in someones spare pink dress for the rest of the day. FML
Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
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Top comments
hereicomment 18
Well, shit happens.
amypr 20
Hopefully your dress has enough "poof" to hide some Depends! Good luck.
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Comments (79)
hereicomment 18
Well, shit happens.
ChristianH39 30
Hopefully not this time...
drivingmissdaisy 13
This reminded me of Bridesmaids
otumboo 10
let's hope shit doesn't happen on especially a wedding day
chlorinegreen 27
Maybe it's just nerves and will pass? Usually when I'm nervous my stomach drops to my butt.
beautybabexo 7
Oh no! Good luck with making it down the aisle.
LaurenLo 17
Try Pepto Bismol! That always works for me and it works pretty quickly. Congrats though!
boating_guy 33
One word answer: imodium Enjoy your big day!
onlychildFTW 34
Maybe a diaper if all else fails. At least it won't show under a big dead and your dress remains clean. Congrats on the marriage btw!
Pleonasm 36
let's hope your husband takes you in shitness as in health.
TheDevilWearsJoe 8
Let's hope OP's husband is rational and understands that everyone *****...?
RedPillSucks 33
He's not taking her on the shithole side during the honeymoon
warsun 27
Well that's a *gets shot*..………i.....tried...*dies*
MrDonSalvetti 27
I don't have to understand this right?
ninjahesten 18
its easy to understand.. he/she is about to make a shit joke but gets shot by all those negativ people on here :) thumbs up
MidnaLink 35
I thought it was a brilliant take on a shiity joke. Pun half intended.
RedPillSucks 33
Tried too hard. Died even harder.
amypr 20
Hopefully your dress has enough "poof" to hide some Depends! Good luck.
igive 29
It all "depends" on the style of dress.
metalhead88 9
But it won't hide the smell
igive 29
blame it on the dog.
thevelociraptor 31
Yes, because every wedding has a dog.
blaw24 1
May your bowels have mercy on you
junkman6 22
I think we finally found the perfect use for those elephant boxers.
PippyJr 5
That's going to be an awkward honeymood.....
earljonez 22
Well you're getting married, that's when shit gets real......
imasexyburrito 25
time to try adult diapers???
OhWhoCares 42
The smell though... Those should come with complimentary air fresheners.
Zebediabolical 45
Just blame it on an old relative. Or see if one of the bridesmaids will step up and take the heat.