Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
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Top comments
nieldan 8
I guess there are two ******* purring
Not_Impressed13 9
Did you stop and take notes?
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Comments (100)
nieldan 8
I guess there are two ******* purring
lulinator 40
Should be three. But her boyfriend needs to kick it up a notch to compete with the other two *******.
drunkmunkey 24
here kitty kitty
incoherentrmblr 22
I think the cat put it in the wrong hole...
Ravike 17
Well owner like cat
sunnyray812 42
You should make it into a competition.
Redoxx_fml 22
Can't compete with a barbed penis *cringe*
gramirez23 9
"Pierced penis here I come!" -OPs boyfriend
Not_Impressed13 9
Did you stop and take notes?
cakefete2 31
This is the real reason the ASPCA wants to spay and neuter pets. After a rash of seemingly unrelated suicides, they realized pet owners couldn't live with the fact that animals were better performers in the sack. No one has ever exclaimed "he's a great lover, he's such a human in the bedroom!"
Soviet_American 29
Guess they showed you two who the real ******* are
sometimessam 16
Time to embrace your wild side, OP. Go feline.
barakados 11
That is a disturbing image.
A07 48
Atleast the pussy is having a good time.
MaddyLannister 8
Lucky *******.
FitForFun 11
How to tell if you need to spice up your sex life.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Well that's a minor cat-astrophe for your sex life.
Enslaved 38
They didn't want you to be the only Mamma-- MIA!
cryssycakesx3 23
uh come again?
Enslaved 38
It was suppose to be a play on the OP's name being "Mia". Lame I know. Oh well. Win some lose many. Just wanted to write something that wasn't a repeat pussy joke. Lol