Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML
Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, I started my first day of nursing clinicals. My first patient was none other than my ex-girlfriend, who I recently broke up with. She has an STI. She told me I needed to get checked. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
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Top comments
thomcmoore 23
I think she kicked the wrong person.
woainishamu 21
Always gotta blame the bearer of bad news -_-
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Comments (123)
Airplane7721 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
thats one way to deal woth the news
doit4ah15 10
*with
ChristianH39 30
Yea, assault the one who gave you the news rather than the one who have you the std. Makes sense to me
nickzpic 8
Plot twist: he gave it to her
Pat_Tricksta 13
I don't think that should really be considered a legitimate way to solve her stress. Especially when you could have an STD and get put in jail for assault.
thomcmoore 23
I think she kicked the wrong person.
blackman100 20
Or maybe not...
ironichalibut 24
Yeah, don't shoot the messenger and all. Definitely the wrong person getting kicked.. Unless in some crazy cinematic twist they were sleeping together.. But I feel like that would've been interesting enough to mention in the FML..
SheTheOtaku 21
Now you know. Next time direct your balls.
DarkLink9001 15
Direct them where?
woainishamu 21
Always gotta blame the bearer of bad news -_-
Shrouds 14
Invest in a cup. Every public servant with hanglows should. :)
ChristianH39 30
"Hanglows"
Ki11erC 18
Where do I get these hanglows? Although if they are like glow sticks and you have to snap them to make the start I don't want them :p
TheCrispyCat 20
Cups don't always help. Sure, it helps, but it still hurts like hell getting hit.
WordAficionada 19
The messenger is always shot, or in this case, kicked. FYL OP!
Lebeaugars95 20
THIS IS SPARTAAAA
lulinator 40
Tough conversation to have! And probably even tougher to hear.
kcpestwick 15
F the patient's life
cjlerch 29
Isn't that assault? .. Either way, FYL. That hurts.
thedudeguy1 16
+battery
blcusername 27
She definitely should have kicked herself. It's not your fault she got an STD, sorry OP.
gracehi 33
What if he and the "patient" have been "playing doctor" if you know what I mean ;) "Doctor, I have this burning sensation in my loins and a fluttering in my chest, but it only happens when I look at you." "Hmm. I've seen this before. There's only one thing to do. Now I need you to get undressed. No you won't be needing that robe." BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!
fsomelife 26
Do YOU need a kick in the nuts?
gracehi 33
You can try, but I don't have any. ;p
drewflav 17
28 - WIN!
gracehi 33
Well, at least SOMEONE appreciates my humor.