Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

Knowledge is power

Today, my mother told me the sun was the largest planet in the solar system. When I told her it was a star, she accused me of lying. We had to bring Google into this. FML

Dunning-Kruger

Today, I confidently corrected someone in a group conversation. I was wrong. Very wrong. Everyone stared while Google proved me incorrect in seconds. I nodded and pretended I meant something else. FML

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

The R-word

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

Seasons gatherings

Today, an old friend of my mom's yelled at me for "ignoring" her. I wasn't responding because she was getting my name wrong, so I assumed she was referring to someone else. FML

Circular logic

Today, I was told I was disrespectful for letting a parent know that her son was disrespecting adults. FML

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

Stop staring!

Today, my 5-year-old told me that she'd learnt about gravity, then asked, “So when you fall down, is it because the Earth punched you?” I said yes, along with a giggle. Later at the supermarket, she tripped and screamed, “THE EARTH HIT ME AGAIN!” I was then reminded of high school when it felt like everyone was staring at me. FML

The more you know

Today, I confidently corrected someone’s pronunciation of a word during a conversation. They pulled out their phone, looked it up, and turned the screen towards me. I was wrong. They said, “No worries!” while absolutely worrying me forever. FML