Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, we had the police called on us for our loud sex noises. This led to my boyfriend making the joke that he’s so good at sex “even the police came.” It was funny at the time, but less funny when he told our friends. Even though I told him to stop, he keeps telling people, and it's pissing me off. FML
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shouted back in unison: "We're fucking! Go away!" FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML
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Top comments
kingtz 6
You need to give your bf a medal!
perdix 31
CTFD! Making some noise can be genuine, but when you get to that decibel level, it just sounds fake. The neighbors called the cops to stop a defrauding in progress.
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Comments (76)
kingtz 6
You need to give your bf a medal!
bodmonontheblock 0
the same effect i have on them bitches
rawr9able 4
Ball gags were invented for a reason. :O If you were that loud I'm suprised the BF's ears aren't bleeding... or are they? O_o buy a ball gag or get sound proof walls and **** away!
06tc 0
your boyfriend is one lucky guy to have a screamer like you. I'm jealous
bluefire8q3 0
^ i thought that Justin Bieber likes dudes?
bobbob3433 0
classic.
gutzz 0
except op is fat, they didn't call the cops cuz she was wailing, they called the cops cuz her bf was whaling.
LamiaXx 0
å
epicenur 2
your neighbors are dumb-asses
pimplayer 0
LOL
HolyCarp 5
That was pathetic. I hope you feel stupid.
MissBrainDamage 0
sounds like me and my boyfriend and yes they deserve medals
smurfman44265034 0
i just jizzed jn my pants!
rizzosierra 0
lmao
C6Racer 0
Was it because you ate a crepe?
OMG_N3RD 0
Lmao!
anakaren_831 1
was it because you watched a horror film?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Cash or credit?
anakaren_831 1
you watched Bruce Willis?
C6Racer 0
Nobody's gotten the reference yet?
anakaren_831 1
jizzed in my pants song?
evperry 2
don't get it
C6Racer 0
Yea, I totally failed that one. Sorry.
anakaren_831 1
it's a song. About jizzing in one's pants for the stupidest reasons.
C6Racer 0
ana and troll win 2 internets for knowing the reference.
anakaren_831 1
Hah, the video is gold:)
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Isn't it supposed to be grape, not crepe?
anakaren_831 1
yess^^
SuckerPunchurMom 0
Giggity
trick619 0
I **** right in my pants everytime your next to me, and when we're holding hands it's like havin sex with me, you say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy, I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity
Heather_x0x0 6
the next day my alarm goes off....
Thanatos1206 0
Well we all know OP just had sex, and it felt so good. She let him put his penis inside her.
T3P33_fml 0
She let him wear his chain and his turtle-neck sweater
Zuckmycuck 0
so this ones dedicated to them girls that let us flop around on top of them
ceddyz17 10
that's great haha
DaZi 0
u wish that the boyfriend was u
machiko_fml 0
Hey atleast it was good?
bgawne 0
I'm sorry I just gotta say your really hot
bgawne 0
how did I get moderated I didn't say anything I complemented your appearance
bgawne 0
that's bull I wasn't flirting or shit I just complemented someone
Sirin_fml 47
@bgawne: Stop. Just stop, before I turn you into an inverted colon.
bgawne 0
yea your right siren idk what I was thinking
testthecoal 5
heh, 'siren'
leeshxx 3
39 you spelt sirin wrong.
illmatic2 16
So did you. There's a capital S in Sirin. Nice try =)
C6Racer 0
Capitalization has everything to do with spelling when it's someone's name, albeit just a screen name. Nice try.
chammi 0
asskisser. :)
anakaren_831 1
I think that the past tense of spell is not "spelt", it's actually spelled, if you're going to correct someone please do so in a correct manner:)
illmatic2 16
They say spelt in England. I'm pretty sure "spelled" is just another American thing.
anakaren_831 1
Oh I'm sorry for living in America where words are spelled as 'spelled' .
J1hill33 12
r u guys really arguing over this?!?!?
Necromal 2
nah spelled is spelled "spelled" words is spelled "words"
anakaren_831 1
sorry, that was an awful mistake, I am ashamed for that.
yuggi1 11
Stop spelling spelled when we all know the true pure spelling is spelt. Nice try. xD
samisabeezy 0
spelt isn't a word. It's "spelled" ;)
yuggi1 11
The dictionary has been lying to me? Noooouuu!
madalynn 11
oh my god you all need to shut up
kyusake_huz_DAT 0
Spelt.S.P.E.L.T. SPELT!
Bano360 25
Spelled and spelt are both acceptable. Now away with you.
Mimiroxxi 0
why is everyone arguing over this? one of the most stupidest arguments I ever read in my life.
JenL_fml 7
I'm American and I like the world 'spelt' better. I also like to write 'theatre'. :D
Sirin_fml 47
"Oh god, what have I started?" comes to mind.
amyyw 0
holy **** this isn't an English class! everyone need to grow up and shut.the.****.up
hossjosh 1
there- place their- a group of people they're- they are Yeah that shit just happened.
superbudda 0
stupidest, not most stupidest :p
dudeitsdanny 10
I before E, except after C =) Also, I spell like they do in England and all them countries, and I live in Amurrica. But I get the jollies from idiots telling me "spelt isn't a word hurrdurr" =3
shovels 0
102 - there is an American writing system and there is a British writing system. there is also learnt and learned, etc...
anilaa 0
152- Thank you it is the most irritating thing when people spell it in the wrong form:)
leeshxx 3
see what you did Sirin! lol! happy now ******* there is a capital.
MissBrainDamage 0
Who effing cares what words are capitalized or not?!
Pherball82 0
Spelt is correct and so is spelled whats the big deal with the proper way of spelling and grammar. Everyone does things differently.
Yoshi_Fue 9
"their" isn't a group of people, it's BELONGING to a group of people... I just went there... and I CAME BACK! >:C
TheNewGuy03 29
*47,000,000 thumbs up* |the kid|
YANKS2728 0
just be a little more quiet nxt time I would be pissed and scared to if I lived nxt to u.
BIOHAZARD6126 0
yeah right youd be sneakin all up in there
abbyfish98 0
that sux, but at least u had a good time?
bgawne 0
what happened when the police arrived?
Deadshot108 0
An awkward silence then a "There's room for a couple more!"
Dr_JuanDiaz 0
hahaha ^^
afdude87 6
wailing? what?
ashrandom 0
It's called 'Google' or a dictionary.
rangermedic77 5
lol^
afdude87 6
I didn't mean i didn't know what it meant, rather who the hell says they were wailing during sex?
zip2014 0
lmao win #19 :)
MyNameIsBruce 0
Some people are into that stuff ya know?
Meg1Surf2Blonde3 0
hey