Today, my now-ex fiancée actually took another man’s penis out of her mouth and had the audacity to shout, “Babe, it’s not what it looks like!” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I literally caught my husband with his prick in another woman’s mouth and he had the nerve, the actual nerve, to tell me, "It’s not what it looks like, babe", all while trying to stuff his lipstick-coated knob back in his pants. CRETIN. IDIOT. CHEATING SCUM. FML
Today, I walked in on my wife in bed naked, with a guy I’ve never even heard of. At first she said, “It’s not what it looks like!” I told her I just saw her cheating on me with another man, to which she said, “Oh… it’s exactly what it looks like.” FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was leaving me for another man. Devastated, I asked what he had that I didn't. Apparently, "a big penis and a stable job" mean more to her than two years of love and dedication. FML
Today, I heard my fiancé moaning in her sleep. She was very obviously aroused, so I woke her up to have a little fun. The sex was absolutely mind-blowing… until she said another man's name. We're supposed to get married in two days. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me for not knocking. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, my ex messaged me out of the blue saying she found my fiancée's Tinder profile. I told her there was no way it was true. It actually was. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
He clearly had got bitten by a snake and she was sucking the poison out.
leogs23 25
Oof man :/ can’t imagine how you feel,
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Comments (6)
leogs23 25
Oof man :/ can’t imagine how you feel,
ahabsfan 17
At least she had the decency to not speak with her mouth full.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
He clearly had got bitten by a snake and she was sucking the poison out.
RichardPencil 32
She was training for the Hot Dog Eating contest. The prize is $20,000!
J_Free_Woods 29
If I was paid $2.00 every time I’ve heard a cheater say that I’d be a Millionaire, at least. I ride the bus and I frequently hear repeat offenders saying that line, along with babe, baby, hunny, snookums, sweetie, sweet pie, crumcake, Queenie, sweet cheeks, My Queen, Cleo, honey muffin, muffin, penguin, black widow (don’t ask), you’re my ginger, you’re my baby doll, pumpkin, you’re my everything.
RichardPencil 32
Wow! Inflation!!! Back in the day, it was, "If I have a nickel..." (A US $0.05 coin), now it's $2.00!
JasonThorn 23
"Unless you are the dumbest person to try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, then YEAH, I guess it IS."
J_Free_Woods 29
I’m so sorry. You deserve much better than that. I hope you find happiness.