Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Would you prefer U Pee S?
mduffy08 8
Did you have any mail?
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Comments (207)
mduffy08 8
Did you have any mail?
boydeee01 7
Here comes all the puns. OP: I'd be pissed.
Just_STFU_Please 13
And you just stood there and watched him? You shoulda knocked his ass out. How disrespectful.
iiDangerCloseBK 6
You've got mail *bing*
X_Codes 11
No, but s/he has a new friend request on Facebook...
LoveMay 10
"Now I'll never get those advertisement brochures they always dump in my mailbox!"
skitzofunia88 8
All things aside, that mailbox is now his territory. I suggest you do what is necessary and piss on it. Otherwise you're mailman won't know where to deliver you're mail. Do it, and do it meow!
KeyboardWarrior 10
Ready the catapult. Make sure you get the extra strength brand of rocks as ammo.
Cad6 24
OP, just shit on his porch. Then light it on fire.
wannaplay 1
Piss on his FRONT LAWN and tell him it's a great fertilizer
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
He's a fearless little bastard that one.
mischiefkel 17
I would be so pissed off. :)
tjv3 10
Kick his ass.
Michael_92 20
I would have got my camera and took a few pics..put them on fb and such. Also show the local sheriff and see if he could do anything about it.
Maddidaddi 0
Dogs.
idntwannaknow 3
Step one: get a squirt gun (one with decent range) Step two: piss in it until it's full Step three: wait for your neighbor Step four: hit him over the head with a bat (this step is optional) Step five: squirt him with piss (if you did step four, make sure he is conscious before proceeding with step five) And remember, Have fun! ;)
iliketurdles 7
Feces is flammable?
trollfaced 2
Put some gasoline on it! Not a lot though! Just enough to get it burning :)
yoyoforpeace 14
Here's the mail, it never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes I want to wail - Mail!
nikkij1988 0
Lmmfao ! I say do every step!!
tootsie68 22
That sucks OP!
olpally 33
Thank you for that comment, how original... Op, just go over there and give him a treat for being a good dog and not peeing in the house...
therealslim 15
You see, there is this button called 'I agree, your life sucks'. It's amazing technology really. You should try it sometime.
jasmine1259 2
Not every comment has to be overly witty or a bad attempt at a joke. Quit being a couple of douches.
8WeAreYoung8 4
you don't say...
DrDilllonReese 12
Yes, but we ALL know that it sucks. If it didn't suck it would be on the My Little Pony fan page or something, not FML.
on_the_flip_side 0
What does OP mean? (embarrassment) ????
bunniex1 11
What ya got against my little pony!
causticgirl 6
Where the hell do you live that your neighbor was pulling his junk out and pissing right out front???
cherry72 13
Lol. Are there places to live where that's alright? Lmao
rubberduckie94 13
It would be easy to get away with in the country. Though if we saw you and you were not a drunken friend we would not bother with police. We would take it into our own hands.
brokenheart10 0
Hopefully there there was only junk mail in the mail box. That would have been quite handy instead of disposing it yourself.
live4tomorrow 7
Florida. dx
Ninjasaurus18 9
Probably Detroit. Or Alaska. Or Miami. There are drunks and assholes in Detroit, Alaska and Miami. Js.
jerseyboy732 16
go piss on his
Whatever0084 2
Yeah **** man. Man up and go do some serious damage rather than posting a FML.
XKXKKXK 10
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
irrevelant 10
get the chilli powder out
TALZZZ14 11
Screw that go take a shit in his!!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
How would one shit inside a mailbox?
ClassyCommando 13
Bang his wife. What, too far?
zingline89 18
Would you prefer U Pee S?
domking1315 20
Thank you! All the puns so far were shit. Finally a good one...
TheFirstSamurai 18
PeeMail, the future of communication.
l0v3p4in 7
Try FEDeral eXcrement next time.
alexup24 13
TROLOLO
mrshaffer 2
I was gonna like this but it's on 69
littlemsweirdo 12
The neighbor pissed him off!
lhfireman 0
boy, thats a pisser
nollid7 5
Call the cops, say he was naked and he'll get a sexual predator sticker on him. He shouldn't have ****** with you or your mailbox. That's a double whammy. That's ******* with a piece of Federal property. What a dumbass. ^_^
angelofsaturn 23
Shit on his stoop. Hell if you can manage shit in a bag and stick it in his mailbox. Wait...laxative brownies.
bobbeta30 14
Lol, an angelic picture called angel of Saturn suggested "shiting on his stoop." Lol, last thing I expected.
granolabutt8 7
I'm pretty sure that counts as vandalism, public urination, public disturbance, something. Call the cops on his ass!
The_Troller 14
I'm just gonna take a guess and say he doesn't care very much.
tencentsakiss 19
I don't know what the law is in Florida, but in Maryland, public urination can get you labeled a sex offender.
LO388 7
88 - It's actually highly encouraged in Florida.
sweettpie129 11
More like call the cops on his dick...
Unlucky_Gun 0
Indecent exposure
Missy5683 0
that's sucks. but Thats really funny :) lol
kazter_boy 3
Like a boss
Roastzebra 1
Sleepwalking???...there's an excuse