jgdgjyfg
United Kingdom
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Germany
HAZARDOUS WASTE!
Today, my mom tried to keep her boyfriend from indiscriminately devouring my personal things in the fridge. So, instead of just sticking a note with my name on them, the lids of my jars of homemade pesto are now decorated in sharpie with a motif of “NO! DO NOT EAT!” FML
sick of this shit
West Grove, United States
Today, my dad opened my fridge, let rip a horrible fart into it, then closed it and said "There ya go, a little somethin' for supper." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Auberry, United States
How thoughtful
Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
trgtyo
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Our pride and joy
Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our living room wall with a painted one. Of our German Shepherd. FML
fml
Canada
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
ZeroApostle4Ever
United States
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Anonymous
Medway, United States
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
2k16
Ottawa, Canada
Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML
mikey51
Australia
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Top comments
amazinglyHappy 6
Just tape a picture of himto the fridge saying '**** you'
eminemchick 19
at least it wasnt "Do not feed the wild snorlax"
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Comments (238)
marthagayo 14
your dad is a dick!
CoconutMuffin 5
Well maybe you eat a lot and it pissed him off!
eminemchick 19
can he also be a ******?
RandomChickXD 0
how is he a dick? I'm pretty sure he's just joking
jajajapun 5
parents aren't allowed to joke around, or they'll be labelled as dicks? I never want to be a parent, if that's the case
dolphincheddar 10
ha. fatty
Blazingcrono 6
I bet you have a rose that's about to die hidden somewhere. Are you looking for a Bell, E. to save you?
je_suis_fml 11
Three cheers for unconditional love! *sarcasm* If she does have a weight problem, negative reinforcement hidden in a lame joke is surely to help her make healthier choices for herself. Oh and it'll definitely help boost her self-esteem.. *more sarcasm* Jokes are to be funny not hurtful.. smh
IceeCreamm 7
Were you the fridge?
nightslayer 6
true but he could be helping her or just joking
saaaalt 4
I would die laughing if my pops did that to me then make sure whenever he sees me throughout the day I'm eating something..
Anton317 4
Haha you eat too much ? :)
DinoJess 0
Ditto #65
justSTOPx100 5
hahah 65 that reminds me of the time that me and my twin sis were eating breakfast when my dad was leaving for work, than when he came home for lunch, he saw us in the same spot, (we all have certain spots, there's 9 of us). eating lunch, and when he came home for dinner, he burst out laughing, left the kitchen and quickly came back with a printed picture of a fat person and he says something like "every time i saw you today, you were eating. if you're not careful, you'll end up like this!' haha i love my dad :) it was a joke, but i guess if i was fat, than it would have really sucked... but i guess if i was fat my dad wouldn't make comments like that...
enonymous 9
Could be worse... I have a biometric keypad and retinal scanner for my fridge... of course it's where I keep the bodies too.
justSTOPx100 5
hahah 65 that reminds me of the time that me and my twin sis were eating breakfast when my dad was leaving for work, than when he came home for lunch, he saw us in the same spot, (we all have certain spots, there's 9 of us). eating lunch, and when he came home for dinner, he burst out laughing, left the kitchen and quickly came back with a printed picture of a fat person and he says something like "every time i saw you today, you were eating. if you're not careful, you'll end up like this!' haha i love my dad :) it was a joke, but i guess if i was fat, than it would have really sucked... but i guess if i was fat my dad wouldn't make comments like that...
KrazyKarl 0
That is awesome! Your Dad is one funny man. This FML made me laugh so hard. Thank you Dad and SHE-BEAST.
sxe_beast 11
Take a cue, stop eating eating so much...
KrazyKarl 0
That is awesome! Your Dad is one funny man. This FML made me laugh so hard. Thank you Dad and SHE-BEAST.
ally_85 1
yeah negative reinforcement always works so well..................
HowAreYouToday 34
well it should have at least made the SHE BEAST feel fat
tatababe 1
you should put a sigh on his bed do not **** the he dog
strainer04 8
so true!!!
toad396 0
no he isn't
marcuschia 0
Bet #1 a ****.
salsa324 0
probably has to go to the market twice a day
Ashelizabethh 8
while he was most likely joking he still clearly hurt her feelings):
laurbear12 3
cool story 82
talensledge1 0
Does he flop around and get hard sometimes?
amazinglyHappy 6
Just tape a picture of himto the fridge saying '**** you'
NastyNinja31 0
no put a sign on his door say "don't **** him"
Crlnprz 11
or better put a post it note on his door saying "Remember to get some cream for your crabs" as a fake reminder to himself
lalala2589 0
Or if you have a 2 door fridge, put a lock on it that only you know the combination to and leave a note on the fridge saying "Challenge accepted."
HowAreYouToday 34
or go anorexic, and get an attitude adjustment. that always works. :D what did you have to do to make your dad say that?!
BaconDave 12
Last time I checked, girls like sex too.
amazinglyHappy 6
while that is a brilliant idea I have some points to make, it wouldn't matter about the appearance of the donkey if OP was gonna crop her dads head on it, and why a quack??
turboextreme 0
thats not even funny...
amazinglyHappy 6
what isn't?
itswhateveridk 0
your so stupid that comment is pretty rough considering we all don't know why she's called a "beast" so don't make irrational assumptions that she somehow deserved this wtf
Sassybq1 13
Nah, then he'd put "That goes for you too honey! TOUCH ME!"
ariannaimelda 7
ouch thats so mean sorry :(
flippers 0
anyone know how to pronounce the OP's username? 0.o
Person1233 13
The g is silent.
Soloman212 28
Which one?
MrTittySprinkles 7
HaHa it's funny cause she's FAT!
livlafluv100 2
lmao! but your dad was probably joking, otherwise, fyl!
JodeMiVida 13
Agreed! I think it's only offensive if the OP is noticeably fat, and the Dad knows this
whocaresfylfml 0
exactly, it was obviously a joke, and it doesn't mean that op is fat, it cud b an inside joke between the family, op should just find the humor in it and laugh it off
eminemchick 19
at least it wasnt "Do not feed the wild snorlax"
iLOLatURpain69 7
Haha, that's awesome. +1
eminemchick 19
I +1 you for ur gorgeous profile picture:D tho this comment will not only be thumbed down but moderated for irrelevance.:(
Sunny_Eclipse 6
In fact, OP should use that one for revenge on her dad!
iLOLatURpain69 7
18 - Gotta love Slim Shady!
eminemchick 19
24-i know:D sadly i already got moderatedXD
iLOLatURpain69 7
Yeah lol I've been listening to Hell the sequel like crazy!
green_eggs_and_h 0
Quick! Throw the ultra balls!
DinoJess 0
aah, almost had it.
aaronruark 2
hilarious and I'm sorry.but he's obviously joking
skyeyez9 25
Parents can be so ******* cruel.
6sick6 4
that's not cruel.. that's funny :/
chickunkey 0
Her dad is a funny ************.
TheeJulie 0
take it down?
Max24KB 0
ya cause' that will make up for her dad calling her a fat ass. but I think the dad hilarious haha
Cereal_Is_Good 5
That won't work. it's too obvious of a solution. we don't do obvious and easy here.
livlafluv100 2
lmao your dad is funny.
MissCuteStack 12
I agree only funny dads would do that stuff !!!!
TheAftermath 0
You sure your dad wasn't kidding around? if he is, you have a cool dad. If no, he's a beast.
crxb16 2
So be a smartass and put a note up that says something about him. Or like the person before me, put up a note that says "**** you"