Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Would you prefer U Pee S?
mduffy08 8
Did you have any mail?
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Comments (207)
nadnerbz 6
I would've been pissed
11mandy80 6
Fyl
groupleader 7
I thought that was a custom down south...
aikman_wesc 2
LOL?
ElegantisDM 0
go piss IN his.
bubo_fml 11
Approach him, grab & shake the arm that is controling his member & cause him to piss all over himself...
terrask 11
I'm thinking everyone here overlooks the fact that this was written by a cat that somehow managed to learn how to type. In this situation, everything seems in order. Just throw up a furball on his porch to get back at him or something...
superfluffy 1
poop in his hand poop in his hand
Dracoboxer357 36
Hmm, it appears to me not many people posting today are from the country, because when a stray dog pisses on something of my old neighbour's, and he didn't want it to, the solution was simple: he'd hook it up to an electric fencer and let the problem take care of itself. ;) (No, I'm not advocating animal cruelty and I personally have never done that myself, but OP's neighbour should know better, and presuming Op doesn't deserve this disrespect, I wouldn't think twice about zapping his jewels. After all, it'd only work if he came back and was dumb enough to do it again.) ;) Best of luck with that, Op. Just don't blame me if he takes it a little personal if you flash-fry his junk. :p The escalation on that action might be murderous.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I say flaming bag of poo on the porch is the proper response.