Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog decided to knock over our trash cans, which were full of my bathroom trash. I had to pick up tampon and maxi pad wrappers from all over the neighborhood. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
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Top comments
MoonlitKnightt 5
I know this isn’t the point, and it’s a weird question, but how does one leave “a pile of diarrhea”? My brain can’t picture that…and yes, sadly, I did try to
RichardPencil 32
From his perspective, it was a good idea. Another good idea: You should move.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
From his perspective, it was a good idea. Another good idea: You should move.
MoonlitKnightt 5
I know this isn’t the point, and it’s a weird question, but how does one leave “a pile of diarrhea”? My brain can’t picture that…and yes, sadly, I did try to
RichardPencil 32
It can happen. I do not wish to discuss this further.
heliosphere 1
That’s from the movie Friday