ugh
United States
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
jackpot
Venezuela
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
pauper
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Ally
United States
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Anonymous
Boston, United States
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Anonymous
There goes the neighborhood…
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Brook363
United States
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
jl_word
United States
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
wellokaythen
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Brampton, Canada
Bad boy
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Anonymous
United States
You OK dude?
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
minimum wage
Canada
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Top comments
garrettcodd 0
the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...
kingnate16 0
did u join him?
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Comments (230)
deprived13 3
that sucks
kingnate16 0
did u join him?
princessRiRi97 0
Well offer him some toilet paper
Veraymix 6
Asking him to clean it up, I suppose is the nice way of reacting.
rallets 23
he was ******** "relentlessly"? more like f HIS life, goddamn
aubrey1 0
that's going to be a lot of fun to pick up(:
CRiiSPY_fml 0
how do you relentlessly shit...?
flockz 20
was he watching nascar too?
MissBunnyWillEat 11
rallets ***** relentlessly from his mouth.
iluvhobos 5
Get a squirt gun and start spraying him away with it?..
Kawboy 1
69 I was thinking more like the garden hose but I'm sure everyone keeps a squirt gun handy ;)
rallets 23
human centipede style >:D
Cmliedtke 0
Why exactly do FMLs about waking up to homeless people ******** on something keep getting published..? its getting old..
EvilPotato 15
after you join him you guys should get togheter and have a threesome with another homeless person.
Siji 0
Relentlessly...The Marathon Shitter? Yup, definitely The Marathon Shitter >:)
ThanksKarma 0
ugh...pull a Chris Tucker, ask for his name, run out in the streets and announce to everyone that he's taking a shit and promise that you won't tell anyone else. Well now that I think about it I'm not sure he'd care.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Friday ftw, but it wasn't Chris Tucker that said it. it was another guy, can't think of his name :(.
Bekeliyr 10
#18 ahaha. shit happens man!
FckYoCOUCH 6
I'd hunt his ass down. with a bag full of shit, at the ready.
brooooks 0
what does Op mean ?
MissBunnyWillEat 11
ogre penis
seanders 10
113:Overweight Pedestrians- the #1 cause of car body damage while driving.
baseball6917 8
they have to do it somewhere too. I mean you have a toilet, he doesn't so cut the guy some slack. haha
thePr3da1i3nrulz 4
original poster.
btstig 11
ya boys name was Ezell. he was a crack head.
DoWorkBro 4
I would go out there a throw a roll of toilet paper at him and kick him off the deck.
iluvnba 0
lie down underneath his ass and try to catch some in your mouth then try to figure out what his last meal was
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Yeah, Ezell. That's it :)
imosim 0
what a hero.
Codezlol 21
108 mike epps?
Minecraftaddict 0
that's just a really funny sight in my head. ^.^
dre_bro11 12
Well, I think it's time for you to get a pooper scooper; that is if he decides to come back. If you don't want him, I'd suggest you don't feed him or pat him; they tend to like that.
iranoutofnames 6
no.
kitkatmiaow 21
#45................. Thank you... Just what I was going to ask! =^..^=
bigredmonkeybutt 30
I think someone is practicing their vocabulary words.
justSTOPx100 5
well at least he wasn't having a shit hemorrhage on your front porch! :P
Brandon_ryan 0
I like this description best
worldcupcheer17 0
that's disgusting..
kellyma 0
your a jerk maybe it's not his fault he's homeless
notsocrazee 0
wether or not it was his fault does not change the fact that HE'S ******** ON HER PORCH.
cgchamp89 7
Right... is it also maybe not his fault that he's ******** on OP's porch? He was referring the ******** on the porch being the disgusting part, not the fact that the man was homeless.
Jacobt24 19
at least he isn't burning it
worldcupcheer17 0
43- I'm a girl..
OhSoBueno 0
Show me your genitals....your genitals....
Kawboy 1
your genitalia!
Hopsin_fml 0
Next thing you know, the hobo invites his friends and starts filming dirtiest porno. First off, they proceed to take *****. Secondly, the take the shit and rub it all over their chests. Not interested? Join the fun!
1877hottie1877 0
omg that stinks literely
lebronesque73091 12
Rub his face in it.
CloudStrife97 9
You should go take a shit on his house!
tgmarie 1
LOL.
volley4eva1698 0
yummy
IndigoArkanian 4
SUCKS
zuzupetalsYO 11
relentlessly lol, I'm going to use this word all day for two weeks!
CrimsonNightmare 0
sounds like a shitty situation to me
worldcupcheer17 0
that's punny. lol jk both of these jokes are getting old.
KiddNYC1O 22
As dead as Soviet Russia.
CrimsonNightmare 0
I believe that we are all entitled to use this joke at least once... But that's just me...
YacL 15
I was waiting for this joke to surface and show us its shitty face.
Music_Is_Life101 0
How original.
WordSmyth 2
I'm sick of this shit.
womanjesus 0
lolocaust ^
candycane101 0
your so creative..
iluvnba 0
119 thats the coolest facial expression ever
theaws0m3guy 4
Well that is an unfortunate turn of events. oh well.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Relentlessly? Was he like yelling "Get out of there!" Is that what you mean?
thePr3da1i3nrulz 4
I think OP ment that a lot was coming out...
garrettcodd 0
the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...
thatonename 7
you sir, win by a large and unmeasurable amount. that honestly made my day.
kingnate16 0
the world is his porch
HomeAl0ne 20
Go shit on his Porsche instead.
SunDropGirl 0
ya because every homeless guy owns a Porsche right?
realfigueroa 1
what kind of homeless guy wit a porsche ***** on someones porch
yukon666 3
the best kind.
pancakeboss 0
hehe win [:^{()
btstig 11
Go find his shopping cart and shit in that bitch!!
Darcon 8
or, or orrr, op could have wiped it off and used it as lube for when zombies takeover because the lube factories will stop..
thetrollyoulike 6
wtf is wrong with you
YacL 15
20- What are you, a seal?
btstig 11
WTF a seal??????
mrbattleman 10
did he at least wipe?