Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML
Today, as I was pulling wire for an addition to my boss's house, I was on a ladder drilling a hole when my coworker kicked the ladder out from under me and left me hanging from a rafter twenty feet in the air. To make matters worse, I had to pee. I'm now in my car with dead arms and wet pants. FML
Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I saw a man stuck in his car door by his jacket. I ran over to help him, and his wife hit me with her purse. FML
Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML
Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML
Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML
Today, in order to save money, instead of going to the car wash, I decided to wash my car at home. While sponging the roof, I slipped on the soapy driveway and ended up sliding under the car, getting soaked and covered in suds. My neighbor saw the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Was the ladder okay?
jerseyboy732 16
I'll be the first to ask.. are you ok OP?
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Comments (115)
Navjot1221 2
smack that bitch
JayJaysGirl 0
Depends on the car...are we talking Hybrid or Lamborghini?
lhfireman 0
its ok Griswold. im sure the family truckster wasn't hurt to bad
SosaChristian 1
my roomate's ex-wife makes $79/hr on the laptop. She has been out of a job for 9 months but last month her pay was $8641 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Go to this web site CashLazy.com
MikeDa1Da 14
I'm going to be that guy: It's*, I'm*, too*.
wannaplay 1
Wife- ARE YOU OKAY Husband- I'm ok Wife- not you, ass, my car
Cad6 24
Wife: Oh no! My poor BABY! Husband: It's okay honey, I'm fine. Wife: *Runs and hugs car* Husband: -_-
Meettitan 14
60- You forgot to correct his punctuation while you were at it, tool.
_Oblivion_ 12
Quit being such an uptight prick, tool.
jake12221212121 4
Not a family til they stop giving a shit about you.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Was the ladder okay?
LoveMay 10
Was the roof fixed?
SkoomaKi 28
Was the wife killed?
schnouttz 3
^ No but this joke was -_-
Archay 13
The ladder died of severe metal hemorrhaging, very serious for the ladder kind.
Jakesterk96 8
^It must be serious if the ladder died.
DrDilllonReese 12
^wow... Who would've thought...?
sm0kinBCBudz 0
^ I wanted to do the "hardcore" ^ thing to
causticgirl 6
What kind of car was it?
KiddNYC1O 22
Most likely an SUV. Women love SUVs.
tylersign 11
I'll bring that bitch and SUV. Bitches love SUVs. Sorry..
KeyboardWarrior 10
What is SUVing? A verb I've never heard of!? Is it Shakespearean?
tylersign 11
I'm not sure why I put "and" instead of "an". But.. Nope. It's not Shakespearean.
boydeee01 7
She probably didn't know you fell too until she got out there.
JoeSaysSsso 2
she was too busy cutting her thumb on his sponge cake.
therealslim 15
We've already had that joke 106.
jerseyboy732 16
I'll be the first to ask.. are you ok OP?
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
He fell off a roof onto a ladder. Of course he's okay
Duladian 19
Of course he was, otherwise the FML would have said he got seriously injured or something similar.
doctorhook86 25
Injuries sustained in during an FML don't have consequences. Of course he's okay!
kisaka 2
Welp now you know what'll be the end of your marriage. Damn cars, always ruining them.....
GLaDOSv1_09 19
You should always be careful; dented cars is the third most common reason for divorce, behind adultery and leaving the toilet seat up.
EmreArslan 11
The real question here is... What happened to 1,2 and 5?
jerseyboy732 16
they fell of the ladder
perdix 31
That's what you get for asking if she bled on the sponge cake. Karma is working pretty fast these days!
perdix 31
Ah, so you are saying that you think like me? It's flattering, but I have to warn you: among normal people, that is not considered something to brag about ;)
Enslaved 38
And yet you just explained it to all of us what she was asking. :P Hope you're okay.