Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said, "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my dad in my room, watching porn on my computer. When I asked him what he was doing, he closed the computer, stood up, stared at me awkwardly and then said, "You should really avoid those sites" and left my room. FML
Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML
Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my drunk dad went off on a tangent about his porn watching habits to the whole family. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Well at least he didn't see you actually jacking off?
omfg_creepers 8
"If this happens again I'm keeping them! Oh and I accidentally ruined one of them, don't ask how."
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Comments (164)
TheUnknown_fml 9
YDI
changesinme 0
'Dad, be glad I'm opened about my sexuality'
Damn_Hippster 11
God dammit op, not again!
bfrench95 0
How is that a FML? You have a cool dad! At least he didn't go ape shit on you for having ****...
quinnbar 6
key word "again" hahahaa
imaginaryvoice 18
"Today, my dad stormed into my room, threw some magazines at me and rudely said, 'Your dumb ass left your **** in the bathroom again. FML"
LolFMLnot 10
The awkward moment when your dad throws **** magazines in your face ... O.o
leogirl95 12
Haha, you look at **** while you take a shit?
Zeppelin1969 5
At least he didn't tell you his methods of hiding it were better.
Bladian 5
47, he jacks off in the bathroom. Not that difficult.
nahgemoohc 17
Hey! OP's dad kinda sounds like Jim's dad from American Pie!
giowu 0
OP say, today my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, calmly sayd u forgot ur **** magazines in the bathroom again, apparently, to me, it sounds like his dad is tryin to make it sound like its OP's magazines, when his wife find the **** magazines in the bathroom for the second time.... How do u guys kno that the magazines are OP's?
Isoldael 27
110 - because OP would probably have mentioned it if they weren't his. "I don't even have a stack of **** magazines. FML" or "I looked at the magazines and found out it's gay ****. I'm not sure whose magazines they are, and I'm my parents' only child. FML"
WaSiSimiLang 8
Godamnit are you all that blind and love to jump into conclusions? Op's father obviously was setting op up as op's mom was closing in on his **** stash! Its a set up! He has been framed I tells ya! FRAMED!
madhouse221 0
Who still uses magazines?
MikeDa1Da 14
Well at least he didn't see you actually jacking off?
attaboy368 20
true true true
Delta2Almanac 7
at least his dad knows he's not gay.. .
loney_pilot_boy 2
I see what you did there #2
MikeDa1Da 14
What did I do?
ThaBeasty01 5
how do you know it's a guy ? girls watch **** too ..
evilplatypus 39
Yes. Yes we do :)
MikeDa1Da 14
Girls don't poop, so the **** wouldn't be in the bathroom.
ThaBeasty01 5
ohh yeah I forgot about that ! I've never even heard about a girl taking a dump .
margie2194 12
Hooray for pornography!!
DeadxManxWalking 27
2 Girls 1 Cup ring any bells?
death_dolphin24 0
Yes but, they pee sitting down
kokorowe 3
You guys r stupid to think girls don't shit
Justforlolz 14
#142 Please, oh PLEASE don't make me smack you upside your head for that painfully idiotic comment.
Sawarski 13
142 I don't think you'll have to because that shark is about to **** him up.
you_and_me_fml 8
awkward..
carlosantana0219 2
You like it
AngrehPirate 0
He should have said 'gee thanks dad now I can finish' now that would have been awkward...
evilplatypus 39
Would you rather he make a big deal of it? And why do you still get your **** from mags? Go to nudevista. It is your friend.
agaba 0
Personally I like xnxx I love that site
This2Rudy 7
I agree with #73 (that's the site I use)
Rosalie_Haostn 0
It could have been worse....your mum could have found them. Now, THAT would probably be awkward.
Rowdey 10
Nah.. lemonparty all the way.
Savra_fml 17
So, your dad knows you are a wanker, and that you will take your magazines with you to the bathroom again, so just ask him nicely to leave them there. What's the problem? Being regular is healthy.
attaboy368 20
yeah and next time your mom can return them to you........
PaulB123 11
Oh well, he probably enjoys it!
jworret 0
Can I hear a herp derp?!
elephantom12 9
Herp Derp
omfg_creepers 8
"If this happens again I'm keeping them! Oh and I accidentally ruined one of them, don't ask how."
xSonic 9
Blame your dog duh
cocodecoeur 12
Seems legit...
lolasains 7
Should be fine unless it was gay ****.
Dixie19 0
12- Should be fine even if it was gay ****.
downtime 13
22, Not if the father didn't know it wouldn't. Nobody wants their family to find out they're gay by finding their ****...use your head.
amanda_d95 9
Well don't do that! Obviously this happens often if he said again : P