Today, I caught my new neighbor sticking his knob inside my car and pissing on my seats. His reason? I parked in his spot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my new neighbors when they backed into my parked car. FML
Today, I came outside to leave for work. To my shock and horror my car was gone. My asshole neighbor, who has parked in my spot multiple times decided to let her noisy guests park in my parking spot, so I parked in hers. She had my car towed. FML
Today, I got a parking ticket for parking in my neighbors' parking spot. I parked there because my neighbors were parked in my parking spot. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, my new neighbors moved in across the street. Also today, they began to park at the end of my driveway. Not used to a car being there, I backed out and promptly hit it. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
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Top comments
nightfire2258 24
Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!
whyusofat 17
Shit on his car
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Comments (107)
nightfire2258 24
Why did you leave your windows open? Pay him back by pissing in his house!
cinamonkoko 15
maybe it was really hot where OP lives and rolled his windows down enough to let some hot air out but apparently enough to let his neighbor pee in his car I couls be wrong; it's just a theory
happle 21
I hope to god OP wasn't in the car.
PinkieKeen 20
leave a pair of rabbit ears on his welcome mat
TheCanucklehead 22
#16 or a pile of shit
rickyfk 4
dashie is best pony
SlapAndTickle 20
Another brony. Don't you belong on 4chan?
Octwo 16
He took one hell of a risk sticking his knob *inside* the window. Considering someone such as myself can roll up my car windows using my key remote. I'd just trap him there until the police could pick him up.
EmberEyes 16
65 we can "belong" anywhere. Just because her username is Brony related doesn't mean you have to be an obnoxious ****.
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
**** pissing on his stuff for revenge. I'd kick his ass. That's douchey and unsanitary to urinate on someone's seats.
whyusofat 17
Shit on his car
webbface 25
I'd shit on his door mat. Or throw my shit in a paper bag at his door. Damn that would piss me off so much!
Bano360 25
Do the old, leave a bag of shit on fire on his doormat.
gotaplanstan 28
in*
cho_bee 9
... and light the bag. Just like in Hollywood Knights!
ellenjasmin 18
He must be pissed
kinky44 28
Nice ****
woainishamu 21
Park your foot up his ass!
webbface 25
Lol haha okay Red!
flashback.miss 28
have him pay for cleaning the upholstery. If your his new neighbor, shouldn't common sense dictate that he wouldn't know better and to tell him in a civil manner?
Redoxx_fml 22
By slashing his tires. That's the Chicago way...
pazuzus_intern 10
Well, time to slit his tires!
bigpops 12
Oh it's on like donkey Kong now! we are going to help you with some great ideas for revenge!
allie2590 31
On like Donkey Kong? Does that mean OP should drop barrels on the guy's car from atop a building? Actually that's not a terrible idea...
Kiwiscanfly 19
Lock your doors and close your windows maybe? Believe it or not, that is a really good way to stop people from pissing in your car
jennababe98 9
The more you know *random shooting star*
webbface 25
Bet you money OP won't ever park in his spot again!! And not allow her car to be available to be pissed in!
challan 19
He has serious mental issues, OP. Be very careful when you confront him.
Tiffosaurus 12
I question why you left your windows open. Or possibly rather why you left your car unlocked.