Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
RusticChick 27
Sounds like love
briang959 47
Did you answer her call?
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Comments (83)
jdcg116 10
Smells like Love!!!!!
dustin007 15
Damm did she blow you a way?
xluciferx666 21
You should be happy she's comfortable doing that in front of you give her a high five and move on
FudgeLOVE 1
Actually made me LOL
apineapple 40
hopefully OP has a sense of humor and can laugh with her.
lollypop624 11
What's soooooo bad about that? Oh I know, she's a girl so she can't fart! Only guys can fart cos there guys they're totally diff to woman(!) Apart from that they don't hav to go thro the pain us girls do!!!!! And ur complaining about ur gf fartin, its gas and evry1 has buttcheeks and sound is just vibration, so of course ur gonna feel a vibration!! Feeling like Sherlock today are we?
Fuckthenwo 0
Lol what the hell does that have to do with pain of a man and a woman? Dumbass
SaintJohnny 2
And so, the fart war begins!
thewife5 19
That is down right nasty.. You're all pigs. It doesn't mean she's comfortable around you, it means she doesn't have manners.
ayyy_ben 3
Obviously someones uptight ^^^ she doesn't have manners? Really what makes it wrong for a girl to fart it's only natural and we all do. And it is a sign of being comfortable.
sourcherrie 4
She's a keeper amigo