SisterOfTard
Florence, United States
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
doesn't fuck on the first, thank god
Southend-on-sea, United Kingdom
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Kelly
Manteca, United States
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
Flip
France
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Jpaylay
Lakeland, United States
Don't hate the player…
Today, my brother bamboozled me out of 20$. He's 12 years-old, and I'm 17. FML
_guy_j
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Glendora, United States
Driver 8
Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML
max
United States
Mixed signals
Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "Oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML
liisiuu
Breakout
Today, I went on a date with a guy who turned out to be my older brother's friend. In the middle of the night we were drunk and got stuck in my room after the key broke inside the lock. My brother had to help my date climb out of the window. FML
Anonymous
The hustler
Today, my boyfriend of six months, who happened to be my first kiss, broke up with me after borrowing 120 dollars. Not twenty minutes later, he was at the bar drinking with my brothers and my dad. FML
klifestyle2012
Classy.
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Anonymous
Szeged, Hungary
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Top comments
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Eeeewwwwwwwww
rachelottavia 16
I hope you didn't say yes!
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Comments (168)
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Eeeewwwwwwwww
MattM95 16
I really hope OP's brother was joking.
Just_A_Tree 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why couldn't he just practice everything on his hand like all the other guys? He was trying to combine incest and arguably prostitution! Who's the unlucky girl going on a date with this guy?
nataliewby 25
#1, this is exactly what I said out loud when I read this FML.
a_wiener_d0g 15
Really, OP shouldn't settle for any less then 30$
incoherentrmblr 22
#38, that would be incestitution...
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
You say ew, I say opportunity.
MzZombicidal 36
I'm so upset this is from Kentucky :| Like we don't get enough of these jokes! Lol!
brandoneyez1 25
Of course. Kentucky lol
rachelottavia 16
I hope you didn't say yes!
JMichael 26
I'd take the $20 tell OP's brother to close his eyes and let the family dog make out with him.
tony1891 22
or hook up the suction hose to the vacuum cleaner.
Goblin182 27
hey, $20.00 is $20.00
briang959 47
Grooooossssss!!!!
thevelociraptor 31
Eeeewwwwwwwww*
trevieh47 19
Only in the south..
devildog562 33
I hope you don't kiss your sisters south .
tooyoungtooold 11
#24, dayuuuuum son that's the best one I've heard in a while
ElementaryEdGuy 18
Kentucky's not a southern state. It's part of the Appalachian Highlands.
devildog562 33
Still south of Canada. So now what ?
T_Young96 13
Your one to talk, Your profile pic looks like your some family **** project from The Gremlins. Only in the South is not even a justified argument, considering most northern states have been FUBAR'd since before we even had a Mason-Dixon Line.
Suaria 38
Texas is west of the Appalachian Mountains. It's still considered a southern state. The fact is, most people consider Kentucky to be a southern state.
williamlittle 11
Well did you accept?
LucyLyla72 13
Please tell me he's like 9?! Otherwise that's messed up
foxwasalamb 24
i dont think so, if he has a date later that evening
aireeahna 23
It's still messed up regardless.
LucyLyla72 13
#23 yeah that's what I was thinking, I was hoping maybe a play date with a girl or something!
Ki11erC 18
@72 Yep, any age that's pretty o.0 Do people actually practice kissing anyway? (Ignoring the incest part of this) It's not exactly hard, just don't do what you see in blue movies, same applies to sex though lol
UC_jrmnts 15
Pucker them lips!!! good luck getting out of this one and really hope he is under 10 or it's just creepy to even think of that.
usmcmischief 9
I think it'd be pretty simple to get out of this actually. Just use a little word called "no".
DoubleDosexo 12
he had a date...
Soleia_Grace 15
I don't want my brother under 10 going on dates at night when he plans on kissing her. That's wrong
xTwinkies1 14
Even if he was under 10, it's still wrong and creepy. Regardless whatever age he is,its still ain't right.
rushalm 7
Its not like, Incest is permitted below 10, is it?
BrotherPhil 35
Apparently it is in Kentucky.
NeoTabu 11
Oh, Kentucky
hopsinlove17 26
Not again:
RA91 26
LMAO!!!!! Nice!!!
Nicholas12 15
*west Virginia
ohSNAPyall 27
So clever, the lot of you. Prejudice is hilarious.
NeoTabu 11
Have you ever heard of sarcasm? No?
meganss12 8
You don't want to be like the family in We're the Millers?
oathkeeper99 31
They weren't a real family, therefore not incest. Still, Kenny was one lucky kid.
devildog562 33
Didn't he get bit in the balls by a big ass tarantula. I'll pass on a couple of kisses to not get bit in the nuts .
Just_A_Tree 20
#13, he was a lucky kid, until he was put in the maze and went insane... (0_0)
dman1997 5
Tell him to raise it to $50, kiss practice is worth a little more than $20.
lexiieeex3 32
I wouldn't even for $500 some things aren't meant to stay in the family.