Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
RusticChick 27
Sounds like love
briang959 47
Did you answer her call?
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Comments (83)
anonymous_365 12
That stinks.
cadillacgal79 32
At least she's comfortable enough with you to do that.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I'm pretty impressed
Ltsdragons 19
I always think my phone is vibrating and someone decides to text me. Turns out my imagination can be an asshole sometimes
ohSNAPyall 27
9: Or perhaps asleep.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Smells worse than Niki Minaj's ass farts
Ki11erC 18
@68 Not sure what's worse, you know niki minajs farts or this persons gf, stalker much lol
RusticChick 27
Sounds like love
JMichael 26
True love at that.
zaynakins 12
probably doesnt smell like love, though
ANiceMexicanCop 7
Because nothing says "I love you" more than "here, hold my fart".
madridista14 8
"Love is in the air"
NellieeNell 18
Love at first fart
katieemerr 15
Silent but violent
redstone7693 29
silent but deadly
HairIsEverything 15
Why is #34 getting downvoted? "Silent but deadly" is the hilarious, old, common saying I always remember hearing/using. Never heard "Silent but violent". But I guess that makes it more catchy and orginal.... Oh... I think I get it now.
MrConcise 35
I don't think "silent but deadly" was ever hilarious.
shessohighh 10
Silent but deadly is the old phrase.. also called SBDs. As in, "Dude your girlfriend lets out some sick SBDs." Silent but violent is definitely more fun.
briang959 47
Did you answer her call?
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Now that's a Booty Call!
hisfaceallred 19
Dude, she knows the code. She's in!
Jameslikesguys 13
damn that's horrible xD
oathkeeper99 31
Your girlfriend is a human being, FYL.
dgameseeker 12
If his girlfriend wasn't a human being this would probably be an FML for completely different reasons..
silvercamaro 22
Aren't you kind of contradicting yourself by putting FYL at the end of the comment? Like "your girlfriend is human so your life sucks" i don't know I could be wrong
Chelsea_bella 20
#48 - It was sarcasm
HairIsEverything 15
SHE WAS BEING SARCASTIC, ASSHATS.
oathkeeper99 31
The joke. Your head. Whoosh.
listner1 9
Love is in the air
katieemerr 15
Poo particles are in the air ha.
devildog562 33
Now that's how you get pink eye .
mete_orito 34
I would say : Love is in the air! Poo is in her underwear!! #15.
qnmt 9
TIL this "love" thing is made of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen and methane ... and smells like indole, skatole and ammonia. :)
gurbism 16
Been there OP, stay strong. On the bright side, you seem to have a girlfriend that feels very comfortable with you. So there's that.
mete_orito 34
How did you figure it out? Smell perhaps?
Lebeaugars95 20
Attentive reading is key..