Love Don't answer - FML

Don't answer

Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

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Ouch!

P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

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CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

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pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

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qourt - 14/02/2019 15:34 - United States

Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML

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Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

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Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

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Rude awakening

Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

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ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

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RusticChick 27

Monday 10 November 2014 23:47

Sounds like love

briang959 47

Monday 10 November 2014 23:48

Did you answer her call?

DenverTyrrell 13

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:03

You should feel Special that she is relaxed enough around you do do that...yup very special...can you smell all The special? That's the smell Of love.

CydH 8

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:18

That's really funny. Well at least you know she's comfortable around you.

ShadowlessSpear 21

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:22

Her device was silent, but she left vibrate on.

thanks_guys 14

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:27

Compliment her.

baxwar 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:38

Hey relationship goals

Novasonic 13

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:41

fake! We all know girls never fart!

Kevlar_burrito 6

Tuesday 11 November 2014 0:43

You wife her. You wife her right now!

RA91 26

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:03

Um, how did you react to that??

martin8337 35

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:31

Giggity.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 11 November 2014 1:36

She has the power...

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

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Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

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Today, I tried an herbal tea that is supposed to increase your milk supply (I'm a breastfeeding mom). Well, it worked, and it kicked in at my office, but only on one side. So when I went into the bathroom, I noticed I had one boob WAY higher and bigger than the other. Great. FML

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Today, I waved at my crush, but he waved at someone behind me. FML

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Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

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Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

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