Desperate for D
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
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Top comments
newzealand 28
You have hit rock bottom my friend.
marinus_fml 20
Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.
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Comments (205)
vbmg152 19
Okay, that's sad! :-(
preludious 1
Best imaginary 30 seconds of your life.
maddie2015 0
Get a boyfriend. Hahaha then it won't be a lie
allycool999 4
get to bangin' my friend!
KaitlynAnn32 0
Get a life...
AFU_ALL_THE_TIME 0
That's stupid
bbrrumsky_fml 0
*palm to face*....you really are a sad-sad person...smh!
trololololdavid 0
I have the perfect guy for you his name?: forever alone face
thehauf 2
Really
XCraig 0
**********! Or if you are SUPREMELY desperate, get an escort!