Liar !

Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML

Can't take the L

Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

Tori Amos?

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML