Desperate for D
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
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Top comments
newzealand 28
You have hit rock bottom my friend.
marinus_fml 20
Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.
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Comments (205)
creedaddict 9
I did the same thing years ago just cause I know my mom was reading it just to piss her off it's not like she can confront me about it ...
SnailJamsss 6
Get a life.
OhJohnNo 1
But not to FML?
tigermilz 1
Your a super loser boy or girl !!
MommaMuff 6
You have a diary?
greekgal44 14
wth?
juicifer 0
Try lying to a real person it's much more fun...
treboy1992 4
who cares a diary is not a real person grow up
moros1388 4
yfdi
mandyville 8
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha! -breathes- bahahahahahahahaha!