Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel, but I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go. She the showed me a picture of my car outside his hotel. FML
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
Today, I didn't want to hang out with my girlfriend so I could binge watch Pawn Stars instead. When she asked me why not, I lied not very convincingly and said my mom was sick and needed my help. She now thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Damn y’all need to work on your communication. Or work out the terms of your breakup. At best, you guys don’t respect each other, and at worst, your relationship is just straight-up toxic. Break up, have fun, and grow up a little before you step into your next commitment.
mike3775 39
YDI. When I was dating my now wife, if I wanted to hang with my buddies instead of her, I called her and asked if it would be ok to cancel and I would make it up. She did the same with me. I guess common courtesy is dead now.
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Comments (6)
Marcella1016 32
Damn y’all need to work on your communication. Or work out the terms of your breakup. At best, you guys don’t respect each other, and at worst, your relationship is just straight-up toxic. Break up, have fun, and grow up a little before you step into your next commitment.
mike3775 39
YDI. When I was dating my now wife, if I wanted to hang with my buddies instead of her, I called her and asked if it would be ok to cancel and I would make it up. She did the same with me. I guess common courtesy is dead now.
RichardPencil 32
1. Kim K 2. The Central Park Karen 3. Kristen Chenoweth I'll await my prize!
sirrubberduckie 37
"If you like piña coladas..."
JackWood 21
Too bad ya'll can't figure out how to club together.
Rake 18
This FML is a work of art of perfect symmatry!