Desperate for D
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend about having plans on tonight so he'd think I had a life outside of him. All my "friends" are going to a party. I'm not invited. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
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Top comments
newzealand 28
You have hit rock bottom my friend.
marinus_fml 20
Luckily diaries can't talk back, because it would have called bullshit.
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Comments (205)
BloodyMary666 24
That is pathetic. Are u hoping someone reads it and will be impressed?
oklahomaguy 0
Bullshit. Anyone with a ****** has no problem getting humped up on. All you have to do is go up to a guy and offer to suck their nuts off. 1 in 3 will say yes. The other 2 will be pissed that they didn't.
swinglifeaway123 8
-pity-
swinglifeaway123 8
-pity-
storm1217 5
Today, I found out people still use diaries.
lol32360 0
and you tell the truth to the Internet???
l0rd1r1sh 2
yes i hope op's milk and butter do find out lol
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Did anybody else have a hard time clicking on this?
camba8690 0
FYL for having a diary.
boyz141 3
Fail