Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
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Top comments
daliagrande 17
Your girlfriend is a bloody genius.
mete_orito 34
She is pure evil!!! Haha. I hope you won't get any psychological issues from this OP. ;-)
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Comments (157)
chosha_fml 27
FFS, what is wrong with her? That isn't funny at all.
kee_breezy32 34
genius prank!
Colorguardlife_t 14
At least she has a great sense of humor!
perdix 31
That was probably just a dress rehearsal for the Amateur Vasectomy Challenge sweeping YouTube after everyone became bored with eating cinnamon.
Emelsh16 11
I thought it was an Amateur Liposuction Challenge! Well, pretty...uh...interesting, nonetheless. *shivers*
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Your reaction is actually pretty funny- screaming and crying? Did you not notice the lack of pain that would indicate injury?
Lichinamo 33
Not only were they in a panic for waking up to find their penis covered in blood, but it could have been possible they assumed it was so painful that it was numb with pain. OP: Break up with her, NOW. Anyone who scares you by making you think you're badly injured is NOT safe to be with: While trying to make it look like you're hurt, they could really hurt you.
lyvingvamp 15
Calm down. It was just a joke and nobody got hurt. Freaked out, maybe. But not hurt.
iluvpeanutbutter 22
45- I would probably get a huge fright if it was me, and probably gasp and jump out of bed, but would quickly check my 'injury' to figure out what to do. If he actually was injured, how far would screaming and crying get him? That's pretty damn dramatic.
mxcryz93 6
Wow!! She's a keeper!!
HeartOfLead 24
This calls for revenge! Prepare you can of worms and get your camera ready, a prank war is before us...
dantee2005 33
Some bitches ;)
Zebediabolical 45
EPIC TROLL GIRLFRIEND. I think I'm in love with her! ;)
Obey_StudBoii 23
Come on now, can't blame her for having a sense of humor.