Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
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Top comments
halcyon93 16
Why would he think he was the one bleeding out? If anything, you'd think he'd assume you were the one hurt.
KristaAaronn 25
I think he needs a sex ed class
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Comments (136)
halcyon93 16
Why would he think he was the one bleeding out? If anything, you'd think he'd assume you were the one hurt.
Philintheblankz 14
Clearly, he's a dumbass.
Flowtastic 16
Could be uncircumcised with a really tight foreskin that ripped.
Razi_tail 25
Ouch 16, that sounds very painful! I'm a girl and cringed at that thought.
jerzjay 17
This is why 14 year olds have no business having sex!
thevelociraptor 31
Because all uneducated people must be 14.
tacopandaroo 12
If you are bleeding during sex, then you are doing something wrong. (Like tearing your hymen for instance. Ouch.)
x3jmac27 22
Or she could be starting her period.
tacopandaroo 12
Hm, I hadn't thought of that. Usually when bleeding and sex are mentioned together, it's hymen tearing. Definitely a possibility though.
culphy 14
Errr, most girls bleed during their first time due to their hymen tearing. This is a normal thing. If it didn't tear during sex (and it hadn't been torn through other sexual/unsexual activities) I would be concerned. I believe you are the one in need of sexual education.
Luluthus 41
No, if you are well prepared with plenty of foreplay, and preferably lube, there should be no tearing, only stretching. Go to youtube and search for Laci Green hymen for sex-ed on this.
hystericsky 11
I was about to say the exact same thing #59. It's just like with stretching your ears. If there's blood something ripped, and nothing is ever supposed to rip, just stretch. Of course there's always the option of a period, but this FML isn't very specific on which.
junkman6 22
#16 is that even possible? I mean you're taught to clean under the foreskin if you're uncircumcised so it's not like this should be the first time he's pulled it back. If it is then he would have, for lack of a better term, cheese dick like crazy. Not cleaning under a foreskin leads to huge issues and foreskins don't magically weld themselves onto the head of your dick after a few hours.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
It's also possible for your hymen to break during other activities such as bike riding and horse riding.
VengeanceChicken 12
Oh man that sounds painful
Ilmoran 20
Its definitely possible 69; the condition is called Phimosis, and you could still be able to clean appropriately but tear the foreskin during sex, because you generally aren't erect when you are retracting the foreskin to clean. With Phimosis or Frenulum Breve (condition in which connective tissue called the frenulum is too short to allow proper retraction), the additional size and decreased flexibility/elasticity when erect can cause tearing of the foreskin or frenulum during sex.
Captain_Becca_Ge 12
Some individuals are born without a hymen. As later stated, bleeding is due to tearing. Friction causing tears, causes include: lack of arousal, lack of lubrication, or incompatible size
HanBroman 20
laci green is wrong though. not everyone has a hymen like the one she described. mine was extremely thick and whole until I tore it a little while rock climbing, starting my first period which went for 16 days. when I started sexual activity my boyfriend could not even fit his little finger in without excruciating pain. my hymen had two very small holes in it. no amount of lube and foreplay was going to change the fact that it needed to be torn open.
rikitsumiatsu 11
I had that happen to me, I was doin the do and my frenulum ripped. I got a sharp pain in my dick and it bled like hell. Couldn't do much with it for a week or two. Shit sucked.
NickACD 27
Well, thank you for lowering my resolve to live to see the abhorrent failure of this generation and future generations deteriorating. I did not think much of this, because I assumed they were old enough and uneducated.
KristaAaronn 25
I think he needs a sex ed class
gramirez23 9
Let's teach him the techniques.. No? Too "straight forward"? Okay..
Kielnmsoftly 26
Sex ed at my schools never taught me that. I found out from friends when they had their first times and looked it up/ asked older siblings.
Pointy 12
Ew
Unlucky1232 20
sex ed? have you been to America? It's about as useful as putting a bandaid on a stab wound.
InfiniteSunshine 32
That analogy is ridiculous. 1) This FML is from Portugal, not America. And 2) sex ed is very useful, it teaches people all the ins and outs of sex. So if the boyfriend was taught well, he would understand it's the girl that usually bleeds during sex, not the guy. Or if he isn't circumcised, he could have ripped something, but usually not enough to bleed out. All countries, including America, have improved a lot with sex ed, better understanding of what happens during sex, lowest teen pregnancies ever, lower abortion rates, high use of protection and contraception, lower STI rates, and believe it or not, this generation has the fewest sexual partners. Sex ed isn't like putting a band-aid on a stab wound, it's like demonstrating how to properly and safely handle knives so they don't get the stab wound in the first place.
illegalbeagle69 23
I'm sure he's not the only one.. ya know.. other guys might've had this experience.. I have this friend...
Brandi_Faith 34
A friend eh?
illegalbeagle69 23
Yeahh.. a friend.. who lives in Canada...
monstermatt001 13
"Friend"
TheOnlySaneOne 1
What Part of Canada Eh?
Brandi_Faith 34
12 & 26, I forget that that isn't a normal expression to everyone else. From Ontario.
BassinBoy14 13
What's a "friend"?
panicsdisaster 17
Might be sign of being too young?
jellybeens_fml 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Girls bleed when they have sex for the first time.. Of course #5, you wouldn't know ;D
MomentoMori 23
Not all girls bleed. It's different for everyone.
TaylorWhiteGirl 15
Clearly #5 was saying that if OP's boyfriend thought he was the one bleeding, then he's too young to understand what has happened.
jjones0818 12
Above just don't get it...
Soviet_American 29
#5, that profile pic tho..
OnceUponABear 16
You'd be surprised 36. I grew up in a tiny town and the sex ed class was a joke. Basically just pictures of STDs and they said this is what happens if you have sex. Plus if there was a bad/no birds and the bees talk from his parents, I could easily see this happening.
blaw24 1
I'm trying to figure out how he correlated you having a little blood to him assuming he's bleeding out ...
RedPillSucks 33
Most likely he only focused on the blood on him
junkman6 22
And some women bleed a lot when their hymen tears. It's not just a few drops but instead makes your sheets look like something out of CSI.
christian1509 21
You sure you'll are old for sex? I mean how could he not know what was happening
1two3four5six 23
he could just be uneducated.
Psychicgirl17 18
proof that ignorance is not bliss
Philintheblankz 14
To the ER! Stat!
VoodooPriestess 16
Maybe one of his parents told him some stupid lie to keep him in check and he never got around to not believing it? What a first time!
AFaye3964 17
Im guessing he never got the "talk"?
mete_orito 34
The fact that he thought it was his blood indicates that you weren't using condoms either. That is concerning.
tigerisabelle 31
Yeah, you aren't using protection? you might not get an std, but what about pregnancy? even if you are on birth control, it's not 100% effective. by the sound of this FML i'm guessing you aren't in the stage of your life where you want a baby. buy a pack of trojans. maybe it's embarassing. maybe you think they'll be uncomfortable. do it anyways
killerdana 19
Let's hope in a month she's not writing another FML that she's with child because her boyfriend told her that she can't get pregnant the first time or because a friend told her to jump up and down afterwards and then stand on her head
Polynomial 28
I didn't even think about this. Very good point, sir, very good point indeed. Although he could just be that stupid.
stargirl_95 24
There is the possibility that she's on the pill which is why they didn't use condoms.
Mauskau 36
Even if she is on the pill, why would you not use protection for your first time?
limabeans101029 21
78- I agree but there is always the possibility that they've been together for a long time (they could be in their 20s or something) and not feel the need for a condom if OP's on the pill. The pill is over 99% effective when used properly. However, if they haven't been together long, or if they're young, I agree that they should've used a condom.
doodlecloud 27
78 Why would you use protection just because it's your first time? Assuming you were using the pill properly, std checked, etc. I can't see much of an advantage. In fact, sometimes they make things less naturally lubricated which may make things worse. I don't think it's much of a big deal either way overall, just wondered why you were surprised.