Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
Today, my husband came out of the bathroom and screamed, "Call 911 because I just murdered this motherfucking toilet!” then laughed hysterically at his own stupid joke. I was on a Zoom meeting at the time. Everyone heard. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML
Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
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Top comments
xBOGGSx 3
Haha why wouldn't you just laugh it off? I think it's hilarious!
FrenchMixer 9
So funny is your husband!
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Comments (100)
xBOGGSx 3
Haha why wouldn't you just laugh it off? I think it's hilarious!
boxbrandon11 20
What's the link?
eyepuppy 31
FYL indeed, but that's hilarious! When does it hit YouTube?
J3R3MYY 14
Your husband deserves a gold star.
incoherentrmblr 22
It can be hypothetical serious, with big periods, possible miscarriages, and those who are anemic, but thankfully it's not. This is hilarious...
Testing1234 25
who says Canadians can't be mean
WinterBlue42 22
I don't know about most Canadians, but Canadian truckers will devour your soul. Slowly.
lexiieeex3 32
Am I the only one that thinks this is just NOT okay? She probably thought something was terribly wrong and could have had a panic attack. Her husband just inflicted unnecessary torment and forced anxiety upon her.
FrenchMixer 9
So funny is your husband!
Prolux_fml 23
Yes, he is pretty funny Master Yoda
dman1997 5
#2 You need to take a breath and think about your comments before you post them, being number 1 or 2 isn't everything.
Wizardo 34
Guys if we can show some common courtesy, she is French and clearly English isn't her first language. Guidance first, pretty sure half the ***** here were mangy curs of commenters once. Peace out, **** the king.
R3TROxLOV3 32
I don't think English is her first language. go look at her about me. Believe it or not, not every person is from America, which means not every person is going to speak English, and if they do, it may not be perfect. At least she made the effort, and, if we're being honest, she did a better job than most Americans with her English. Perhaps *you* need to take a breath and realize that people aren't going to live up to your ideal of perfection all the time. If you'd taken 10 seconds, you would've seen that there's a simple explanation for why she typed the way she did.
rachelm17 15
Just want to point out that even though I'm from America, I could put that I'm from Spain and nobody would know the difference...not saying that #2 did that, but it's always a possibility!! So everybody should take a DEEP breath!!!
xReDMemory 28
@13,posting a short comment written in an unusual way doesn't automatically make the commentator's intent being the first or second poster.
teyyoshi 19
actually I am a native Chinese
dman1997 5
#44 I'm not saying that it does, however on the FML posted after this one she was first comment and her comment was thumbs downed because she posted a meaningless short comment. I'm just trying to give her a helpful tip to prevent future situations like that. I was in no way taking a jab at her use of the English language as her comment was grammatically correct.
xNotCreative 13
Actually, she's speaking English properly. It's inverted syntax which is still proper English but it's just a pain in the ass to read.
the_real_dvd 21
Her English is way better than my French. And her profile is adorable. If it bugs you, message her and help her English out.
Thunderlaxus 10
HONESTLY GUYS. Who. Gives. A. ****. why should someone feel bad when getting thumbed down? People are always commenting about other people getting thumbed down. You put your opinion somewhere, and if people don't like it, they press the thumb down. if they do like it, you get thumbed up. Honestly, it doesn't matter if you get a thumb up or a thumb down at all. Just try to have fun. And before you go all grammar nazi on someone, check their profile. It takes like 10 seconds. This girl is 14 years old, french, and trying to learn english. No need at all to make fun of her, i've seen tons of american or english people mess up on their grammar too. And not because they were trying for "first comment" either.
JustinKirby 20
I mean he can't post it online, you were in the damn tub! Still, I'm sure later on you'll laugh at it, if he hasn't already deleted it.
gypgyp55 7
that is pretty funny but if it upset you just get him to delete the video hopefully he will understand.
chickenfeet223 11
Laughs bring people together :3
alexcr344 7
He got you good, you have to admit.
AustinDenton 22
That's really funny
StupidMonkey497 16
Something about your profile pic and your comment makes me think that you are being sarcastic...
Merylwen 24
The video must be funny, just be happy that at least you didn't have a heart attack. FYL for having a husband who enjoys terrifying you!
JMichael 26
Your husband sounds fun!
martin998877 12
Bloody idiot.
Earths_Venus 25
Well, that's another weekend of entertainment all sorted... Thanks for the idea OP