Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, after doing it with my girlfriend, she told me that she was "faking the whole time, and thinking of talking cupcakes." FML
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Top comments
Flowtastic 16
Sounds like she was crying about it because she's gonna need that hand later to finish
jnanderson 16
OP you're kind of an asshole. Just because it doesn't look bad to you doesn't mean she isn't hurting.
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Comments (135)
bazookajoey 27
Zing!
JennaNGood 21
Such a waste of a first comment... Just like OP's penis apparently...
JulianaBlackburn 19
#8- Such a waste of a first reply to the first comment
lengi123 18
Not only that, how was #8's comment supposed to make sense? Never heard of a penis being a waste unless it's on a guy who wants a sex change.
Guardian88 21
Perhaps its not the tool but instead the vessel itself thats the problem
Gearden 8
I don't see the point in lying about having an ****** when you could communicate with your partner about what you like and don't like and hopefully have a real one.
israelnotjacob 20
Agreed. My fiancée couldn't reach ****** during sex for a long time but never lied to me about it so I kept trying instead of thinking everything was good. Now I can give her 3 or more almost every time because we found our rhythm. I'm glad she let me know even though so we could make it work.
ironmany_fml 23
Or maybe she just started lying about it so as not to make you feel bad about it.
Flowtastic 16
Sounds like she was crying about it because she's gonna need that hand later to finish
jizzwold 21
Remember to apply aloe gel to burns, OP.
FracturedMinds 21
Apply lotion to the burn instead, I have a feeling he isn't getting any for a while so might as well knock out two birds with one stone.
incoherentrmblr 22
Yes, lotion w/ aloe, not KY Fire & Ice...
pnutzmckracken 3
At least she was being honest.
juwood 7
Except for the part where she faked her orgasms and essentially lied about them which is, you know, not very honest.
Ukeee_X 19
Not a problem I have myself (considerate & talented lover, yay!) but I understand sometimes no matter how hard a guy tries sometimes a girl just can't... And she doesn't want them to feel unaccomplished. Even though honesty is the best policy, I've never had to fake them. So I hope I'm making sense, but I could understand it being a women's fault not being able to finish, not just a dud partner. Situational.
mackdeezy 22
Could Have Been more empathetic, instead of pathetic.
jnanderson 16
OP you're kind of an asshole. Just because it doesn't look bad to you doesn't mean she isn't hurting.
jojimugo 20
Kinda like just cause she is screaming and moaning doesn't mean she is getting satisfied
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Next time fake yours too!
Althaltefolie 13
Your name fits the nonsense in your comment perfectly.
arandomusernameaa 20
How can a guy fake an ******? silly billy...
applebramble 22
Yeah considering it's quite evident
raininginseattle 9
You can fake it with a condom on if you get rid of the evidence right away.
parism143 28
But you can't fake a limp dick, sorry to break it to you.
apu_nahasapeemap 10
Guys, maybe 6 was referring to Kramer in Seinfeld! He said he faked it when he'd seen enough and just wanted to go to sleep.
xerbrus 14
a guy can fake an ****** just as easily as any woman especially if the woman is very unobservant
miianah1 22
#20, you're one to talk.
bubblyhayley 16
guys can definitely fake it...
illinoiscentral 16
Someone you supposedly love is hurt; you judge it is not severe and therefore your response is.... "stop faking it". Wow. You should be a kindergarten teacher or something.
roza043 14
You were kind of asking for it.
lengi123 18
Then shut the hell up and click thumbs up
FracturedMinds 21
41, this is FML. Using logic here is like telling people to stop with the shitty situation jokes.
miianah1 22
#41, then why don't you shut the hell up and thumbs down?
karlcolt45 19
time to hit a pharmacy. get her some icy hot and aleve for her hand, and a good burn cream for you
SillyGirl4602 23
That was pretty insensitive of you op. Also, if she actually communicated with you during sex and told you what she liked then she wouldn't have to fake it.
iwadasn 33
Seeing as she told him she was in pain and he ignored her, I'm not sure communicating with him during sex would have had much of an effect.