Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend by knocking on her door and kneeling in front of it. I forgot that her door opens outwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
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Top comments
RyeBreadBoy 0
This can't be true. Everybody knows that girls don't poop. :P
gozar_fml 1
You should sit on her lap and drop one between her legs. After that she will always close the door and lock it.
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Comments (91)
dinovegas2g 0
I agree that's pretty nasty! I like to believe that women don't $hit!(especially pretty ones) Regardless of what anybody may think. If you do.. At least do it when your man isn't present. A dirty a$$ isn't sexy!
cieramc 0
It sucks that the two of you aren't on the same page in this relationship. I think my boyfriend is sexy as hell and we fart in front of each other and talk to each other while on the toilet. We are open about everything. IT IS NATURAL TO POOP. Of course there are couples that both agree to not be so forward about personal hygiene...but if she is and you aren't then it isn't going to work.
theunbelievable 0
Different people. Different comfort zones. personally, I always try to be secretive about it. I prefer when no one is home, or go to the farthest bathroom. of course always close the door. D= poops and farts are private in my mind. I prefer not to talk about that, to a boyfriend, husband, mom, father, friend, just no thank you.
myballs 0
Slam the door next time she does this. Do it every time after. It's just ******* stupid.
heather19mr 6
Ha ha ha ha ha, this is so funny!! I don't leave the door open when I go to the bathroom I don't even like him to come in when I'm peeing, and my husband and I have been married 3 years and he has witnessed me giving birth to his children but I'm just not comfortable enough to let him watch me poop lol but he however is not shy about it at all, he'll leave the door open and poop, and fart in front of me! But if she is comfortable enough to leave the door open then more power to her lol I think its funny though
asquithpat 0
hide all the toilet paper including the new ones shell probobly buy when she realizes. if she cant wipe she cant shit. problem solved. (heres the part where u all applaud )
nancy_fancy 0
boo hoo! stop your b!t@h!n! and take it Like a man! girls $h!t too! you knw! jeez!
jessxoxo28 5
LMAO!!!!!! i gotta say, thats disgusting, but hilarious
sosadrightnow 4
jeez!! i cant even pee in a public bathroom! I LOCK the door.
bds0688 0
What if someone's bathroom doesn't have a lock?
bds0688 0
Who gives a shit? Unless she has recurring disgusting *****, I doubt you'd even notice unless you took note of her duration in there.