Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend by knocking on her door and kneeling in front of it. I forgot that her door opens outwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
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Top comments
RyeBreadBoy 0
This can't be true. Everybody knows that girls don't poop. :P
gozar_fml 1
You should sit on her lap and drop one between her legs. After that she will always close the door and lock it.
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Comments (91)
sooverit01 0
Some people have no concept of boundaries.
DameGreyWulf 1
Ah, really? I am so out of date on these things.
ohheykiwi 2
ALL LIES Everybody knows girls don't poop.
FoundManyLemons 0
Congratulations! Intimacy and trust comes in many forms. Too bad she doesn't have a boyfriend who won't whine on the internet when he discovers that not EVERY aspect of normal relationships is regularly depicted on TV. So, FHL...
csd_fml 5
best comment ever!
quantum_insanity 0
That kind of step is not one I would want to ever take either, but I guess people have different comfort levels. I've always wondered how someone can expect the other person to still find them sexy after they've seen them poop though... Have you considered just asking her not to?
lokar_ogar 11
Because they don't think of shit in a sexual way, and realize their partner is a human being, not a sex machine. Also they just don't think about their partner taking a shit when they are having sex.
toomanycats 0
The best part is when you're 9 months pregnant, severely constipated and crying b/c of hemmies, and your husband is describing said hemmies to the doctor over the phone. In detail, because you're on your knees so he can get a good look. THAT, is love. ;)
GodOfBeer 5
heard something similar before...RFUK? :o
Lisa89 3
If you don't like her doing that just ask her to close the door.
CallMeHush 1
You know that time has passed, things have changed, and love, its a dying flower. When she comes in to take a shit, while you are in the shower.
omghehehe 0
LOL. I hate it when someone takes a shit while I'm in the shower. It makes me feel like I'm bathing in poop! So much for my nice smelling soaps. Ughh....Honey, please! Not now! Stop laughing!! Sigh... :D OP: She must feel very comfortable with you. I can talk about crap all day long, but I couldn't poo deliberately in front of anyone. I even use a deodorizing drop in the toilet before and after. So, you can't smell it :D
CallMeHush 1
No wonder we think girls poop butterflies LOL.
omghehehe 0
LOL. "...poop butterflies." I like that. See it works! ;)
Inked2009 0
That's disgusting
hairtodaygonetmw 0
last time I checked, most people poo, But I feel like if you dont do it, maybe she shouldnt either. haha there will be a time when you probably wont care, and if you ever have a kid, goodbye uncomfortable...