Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend by knocking on her door and kneeling in front of it. I forgot that her door opens outwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
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Top comments
RyeBreadBoy 0
This can't be true. Everybody knows that girls don't poop. :P
gozar_fml 1
You should sit on her lap and drop one between her legs. After that she will always close the door and lock it.
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Comments (91)
RyeBreadBoy 0
This can't be true. Everybody knows that girls don't poop. :P
ILIEKGIRLS 5
then what does "stick it in her pooper" mean? :>
sdcrazy1018 0
Mmhmmm. Quote from Katie in Horton Hears a Who....girls "eat rainbows and poop butterflies" nuf said
suaveneanderthal 0
next time she does this, grab her up off the toilet, shove your dick in her ass hopefully as a nice big log is coming out then continue to **** her until your **** is covered in her shit, then get her on her knees and facefuck her till you ******. and it'll never happen again.
Masenko7 12
HA HA ****** HA!! made my day!xD
Xrandomkrisx 7
hahah omg thats horrible! but so funny
Meme1988 18
u r sick!
rachbat00 0
Haha good one
johnwin 0
lol, pretty big hurdle if u ask me.
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
That's romance baby, welcome to the rest of your relationship
GodOfBeer 5
repost? either was the same or genders reversed
fruitschinpo 0
ikr ! it's reposted but genders rseversed !
Horde 8
Wow, big deal. There should be a "not a FML" button on this site
DameGreyWulf 1
I suggested something similar, but was told it would overcomplicate things. Though I think I get why this is an FML... perhaps she said the next step stuff and he assumed something bigger, but his hopes literally went to shit?
blastvortex 4
Actually, what this site really needs is a "So what?" button. @OP: Accidents happen, and so does this shit. Can it.
avoidthegirl 6
I vote for a "boo-freakin'-hoo" button.
expen_dable 0
ugh, of course there was a "you are just so immature! MY boyfriend and I LOVE to watch each other shit because we are just so mature!" comment right away
Subtext 10
And I always thought the next step would be farting in front of each other...
Blood_Rose_Intox 3
I agree, a "boo-freakin'-hoo" button sounds like a good idea.
aero_fml 0
Boo hoo. ^Also agree with #4^
IMB916 0
EWWW. I would NEVER want to be in that kind of relationship. Just, ew. shit is not sexy
waterynuggets 0
Good luck dating someone who doesn't shit. I mean, it could happen, I guess. Lulz. Just close the door when you walk by, goddamn it's not that big of a deal.
QTp13 10
@ # 9 IMB916 should date someone who is bulimic - voila! problem solved for him @ OP: That is too funny. Us girls can really do silly things sometimes. FYL
emmapandian 0
true.
lokar_ogar 11
Dude not everything has to be about sex. You really need to get over yourself.
DameGreyWulf 1
A tad inconsiderate of your girlfriend, if you ask me. Or does she think her shit don't stink?
lovelypants 0
That's crusty, can't she just leave the door closed?
lil_ham1644 29
Crusty?? I could understand crappy, but not crusty
gozar_fml 1
You should sit on her lap and drop one between her legs. After that she will always close the door and lock it.
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
LMAO
kimilei 0
****** right! haha That'll definitely teach her a lesson about locked doors lmfao
PeopleRSoDumb 0
Woah. I don't even want that to happen when I get married. FYL dude, FYL.