Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend by knocking on her door and kneeling in front of it. I forgot that her door opens outwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RyeBreadBoy 0
This can't be true. Everybody knows that girls don't poop. :P
gozar_fml 1
You should sit on her lap and drop one between her legs. After that she will always close the door and lock it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
Emperor_Jim 0
You're dating a German chick? Nice!
toomanycats 0
rofl. Yeah, it kinda goes that way doesn't it. My husband usually goes with the door open, so do I, I dont care, but we do have to be alone while wiping. Sometimes I stand in the doorway just to piss him off. ;)
jc21_fml 1
gross dude!!!!!!!!
xxdakotaxx 0
Sounds like shes a keeper. =] When u see her have the door open walk in, sit on her lap and see if she feels uncomfortable. =]
nokillnobeepbeep 0
Is the next step wiping her ass after she takes a shit?
Rayn4u_fml 0
Welcome to “I’m too comfortable-you’re uncomfortable”; expect farts, lack of shaving and tampons in your kitchen next.
thievingbird 5
big goddamn deal.
KarelessKitten 0
i agree. wtf? shit happens. girls poop. get over it.
polico_wolf 0
ITS WITH THE DOOR OPEN details, details...
DameGreyWulf 1
Why is shaving included? :I And what makes you think girls leave tampons out anywhere because they're too comfortable? Every gal knows we do that on purpose to make men squirm. It's fun to yell "Think fast!" and throw one at a guy; they freak out so bad. Speaking of unused, of course. Who the hell leaves used tampons in the kitchen!? Remind me to not eat there!
Rayn4u_fml 0
It’s from a song (and I was wondering the same thing) and it sounded funny, so there ^^
Rayn4u_fml 0
[Sorry for posting this again, but since FML likes messing with me:] It’s from a song (and I was wondering the same thing) and it sounded funny, so there ^^
GreenRupee 0
You're such a nice guy. She doesn't even have to be sexy for you! ... that means you are going the totally wrong way!
lokar_ogar 11
lol **** that, freedom is being able to take a dump with the door open and not give a ****. Sounds more like you want an object rather than a Human.