Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend by knocking on her door and kneeling in front of it. I forgot that her door opens outwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me for not closing the door when I pooped. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML
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Top comments
RyeBreadBoy 0
This can't be true. Everybody knows that girls don't poop. :P
gozar_fml 1
You should sit on her lap and drop one between her legs. After that she will always close the door and lock it.
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Comments (91)
oOMr_JonesOo 0
hey man thats not so bad. at least your getting laid. haha.
avarik 0
that's a big step man
MimE_fml 0
it gets worse as the years go by lol
gymdiva1 0
okkkk..... TMI!!!!!!
Scorch117 0
Gotta set some standards, OP. (post #117 and screenname 117.) :)
Evelynn84 6
It's shit. Everyone does it. I fear for your children (whenever you decide to have any). What are you going to do when you have to wipe their ass? Use a power washer & blast the shit off? Grow some ballz OP lol
ilovenoah 0
we shit glitter ;)
signuplogin 1
You know what's funny about this ...... I read this same FML a month ago but girlfriend was boyfriend
JRokka850 6
Stop being a pussy if you love her than who cares...her shit comes with her
ktizzley2k 8
Trust. Takes years to earn, seconds to regret.