The indignity

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

Own it

Today, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I broke it. Now my family won’t stop making fun of me and calling me names like "chubby" and "fatso". The scale was really old and I weigh 110 pounds. FML

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

Fit as a fiddle

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

Today, I fractured a bone in my foot by dropping a shampoo bottle on it. FML

The Brian Harvey

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

Shelved plans

Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML