Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Ol' Man Jenkins is not pleased with all these whippersnappers on his lawn.
BigMatt803 18
you don't deserve a gun being pointed at you but you shouldn't run on someone's private property either
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Comments (97)
hillbillyboy1993 7
huh...didnt know you'd be on fml dont come back neither!!! :D
abbiyroad 16
This works so well with your username 27. I'm sure you noticed that
zposton 2
Lol
tomhofer 14
Where I come from, it's posted signs on every other tree.
KingCeltic77 18
I just hope you decide against stealing his Gran Torino. Don't get mixed up with those Asian gangsters either.
GracesDelirium 9
Was he a man by the name of Hershel Greene?
KB616 11
I love this!!!
toalysium 15
Nice user name... That land owner obviously showed you exactly as much respect as your trespassing ass deserved.
doodlecloud 27
Except there is a MASSIVE difference between unknowingly stumbling onto someone's field and threatening someone with a gun. But hey, I personally just don't understand why anyone's reaction to simply finding someone on your property would be to get a gun out (unless of course you own just a house and no land) so maybe I just don't 'get' it because I'm from a non-American inner city...
TheDrifter 24
Inner city folk usually don't understand. Basically, to a land owner, his property is hundreds of acres of house he can't lock. Finding someone "jogging" out by the barn, with millions of dollars worth of equipment in it, or by the grain bins, with the potential for him to be an eco nut who would poison the food supply, are very serious threats. That's why the no trespassing signs, and why they run off uninvited visitors in such a direct manner.
kirasant 19
Yeah, cus some guy unwittingly jogging onto someone's massive property deserves having a gun pointed at him. That's totally called for. Someone levels a gun at me for making a mistake, I think they've earned the title f-ing hick.
vbmg152 19
What were you doing on their land?
melody309 35
Jogging. Did you read the FML?
redbluegreen 41
I had a similar thing happen once except it was in the suburbs and the owner didn't want me too close to her sidewalk.
RoboCunnilingus 23
She owns a sidewalk... Maybe I've lived in the "hood" too long, but I'm amazed at this.
EsOSiQueEs 14
It was only to intimidate you to actually leave. If they asked nicely, you probably wouldn't have cared and just kept jogging on their property.
doodlecloud 27
If someone asked me I would've said 'oh, sorry' and moved straightaway. I don't need a gun to my head, I have this thing called courtesy.
EsOSiQueEs 14
Well a lot of people aren't that nice. And like a lot of other people have said, if he had his gun at the ready, chances are he's had other problems with people trying to break into things, or just not leaving after he's asked.
Kidkaplan 19
Thats how joggers become sprinters
ThomE_fml 3
Heh… LOL
beehardxcore 26
Did he follow it up with "gosh you got a purdy mouth..."?