Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I was walking back home from a party, when I received an email from our neighborhood watch. It said to beware, because a "thug-like" stranger with a white shirt and brown hair had entered the neighborhood. My hair is indeed brown and I was wearing a white shirt. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Top comments
Sinamoi 18
Ol' Man Jenkins is not pleased with all these whippersnappers on his lawn.
BigMatt803 18
you don't deserve a gun being pointed at you but you shouldn't run on someone's private property either
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Comments (97)
baref00tmama 15
Us ******* hicks would prefer if you would jog on the side of a road or a jogging trail, not just the "countryside". Just because someone's backyard is 20 acres doesn't mean they want to share it with condescending yuppies.
KBurns207 17
Don't underestimate country folk
Lystune42 8
That's actually kind of hilarious. Don't get me wrong I'm sure it was scary as hell and I don't want to demean that, but since you lived to post about it I'm not going to feel bad about chuckling at this. And ignore the haters telling you that you deserved it for not immediately assuming it was someone's land; if you're not from that area, I think you should be allowed to make an innocent mistake or two.
Dynamite73 25
I wouldn't go so far as to point a rifle at you. I'd have a gun with me just in case though. You still shouldn't have been trespassing op.
maverick83 15
I don't get some of these responses. 1) Did you know it was someone's property? Can't assume you did. 2) if someone is clearly just running through my property, and not hanging around or causing trouble, I wouldn't be the least bit bothered by it.
Wadlaen 24
Obviously you were on the wrong land...